Funny how little ones already know who's the "easy sell" of the parents. Tay has figured out a sweet way (already!!!) to try and get what she wants. There are certain things that I am pretty restrictive of when it's just Tay and me in the house (like when Jeff's away on business or something), so she normally doesn't ask me for these things...I just use them as special treats for her when she's been good all day or I just feel like giving her a treat (like ice cream or Dora or chocolate). I wouldn't say I'm totally restrictive, by any means, but I tend to ration a little more than Jeff. :)
Anyhow, when Daddy's home, she always goes to ask Daddy for these things that she really likes, but doesn't get on a regular basis as far as Mom's concerned. This is how the conversation goes, normally:
Tay: Appa, I want ice cream right now, please.
Appa: Right now? Did you ask your Mom?
Tay: Mommy's busy right now. I want ice cream, please.
Appa: We haven't had dinner yet. Ask your Mom.
Tay: Mommy's busy right now. I want ice cream right now, please.
Depending on Jeff's mood, she will end up with ice cream or she'll be distracted by something else. She's a persistent little bug. :) For a while, she would say, "I want *something* now" or "I want *something* right now," but I told her that wasn't polite and she needed to say "please," so now she adds "please" after her "right now." ::sigh:: Clever girl...:P
Monday, August 30, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The last month...
I now have just about one month left before our second angel joins our family. I don't know what it is that I feel about the pregnancy right now, but a strange sense of calm and happiness has settled over me, so perhaps serenity is the best word to describe it. For most of the pregnancy, I think I was feeling anxiety and some guilt about brining this new life into our seemingly perfect three-person family life, but now as the time draws closer to meet little Riley, I'm happy and feel ready to take on the task of mothering a newborn again with enough love to spare for my still beautiful and ever-needy-yet-independent Tay. I feel bad for those people who always comment that Tay will become old news once the new baby is born because I think I will be even more amazed and loving toward her because of her new role as a big sister, and I fully believe that she will embrace that role with enthusiasm. Of course, I expect the natural jealousy and moments of frustration she will feel when I, or others, have to be preoccupied because of the newborn, but I feel I will be able to help her feel loved enough for her not to feel threatened. Not because I think I'm some super-mom or have any special skills on mothering...just because I know that Tay has an enormous heart and my love for her is so overwhelming that I can't fathom feeling any other way toward her...no matter what. It's a great sort of feeling that has settled over me, and I hope it carries through the rest of the time I have left being pregnant and through the birth and thereafter.
As for my physical well-being, I can't say it's quite as happy as my mental state. My lower back is aching all day, especially first thing in the morning when I get out of bed, and of course, by the late evening when the day's activities are wearing me down. It feels like little Riley is starting to move down already, which puts a little more pressure on my lower nerves and of course my bladder...which results in more frequent trips to the restroom. I don't mind those as much, but I don't like the wake-up calls in the middle of the night feeling like I'm about to wet myself if I don't hurry up and get to the bathroom. Also, when pregnant the first time I didn't have any reccurance of nausea once my third trimester hit, but now I'm feeling that slight queasy feeling again; thankfully not as severely as the first trimester. I am significantly more tired this trimester than I was in my second trimester, but I know it's because I'm wearing myself out trying to keep Tay busy and entertained after work. Keeping active has also given me much more energy, though, so I think the tiredness during the day is worth having more energy in the evening to spend with her. I have started to battle the "waddle," as my natural gait starts to widen to make room for my ever-dropping baby belly, but I think part of it has to do with the fact that I don't like the way my inner thighs rub together in this sweaty heat. Waddling reduces the friction...ugh. Sleeping is also a little less comfortable now because when I lie down, breathing gets to be more difficult until I get my belly situated "just-so" on one side or the other, so every time I wake up to roll over (or go to the bathroom), I have to resituate myself into a comfortable position to fall back asleep. My insomnia seems to have passed, but I still feel like I'm losing quite a lot of sleep because of all the time spent waking up in the middle of the night with visits to the bathroom and rolling over. And of course, I can't forget Mr. Sciatic Nerve as it continues to cramp my behind's style and Mr. Leg Cramps as it wakes me up in a jerking motion trying to get the cramp out before it really locks me up. I don't remember being so whiney about all the physical pains of pregnancy during my first pregnancy, but man...it just all seems so much worse this time around. I think I just got lucky and had it super easy my first time, so I'm paying for it this time around...:P Can't REALLY complain, though...I still have it pretty easy compared to some of my poor pregnant friends who are on bed rest or have morning sickness throughout the entire pregnancy. I feel for you guys...
Last, but not least, I've been doing a lot of reading about doulas lately and now am considering hiring one for my birth. It seems there are quite a few options here in Korea for doulas, and although I feel a lot less anxious about this labor/delivery than the first time around, I have this feeling that I experienced my first labor/delivery sort of haphazardly. I think after Jeff gets back from this exercise, we'll chat about it and see what he thinks and maybe we'll chat with one or two ladies to see how we feel. Anyone have any experience with doulas here in Korea wanna share? :)
As for my physical well-being, I can't say it's quite as happy as my mental state. My lower back is aching all day, especially first thing in the morning when I get out of bed, and of course, by the late evening when the day's activities are wearing me down. It feels like little Riley is starting to move down already, which puts a little more pressure on my lower nerves and of course my bladder...which results in more frequent trips to the restroom. I don't mind those as much, but I don't like the wake-up calls in the middle of the night feeling like I'm about to wet myself if I don't hurry up and get to the bathroom. Also, when pregnant the first time I didn't have any reccurance of nausea once my third trimester hit, but now I'm feeling that slight queasy feeling again; thankfully not as severely as the first trimester. I am significantly more tired this trimester than I was in my second trimester, but I know it's because I'm wearing myself out trying to keep Tay busy and entertained after work. Keeping active has also given me much more energy, though, so I think the tiredness during the day is worth having more energy in the evening to spend with her. I have started to battle the "waddle," as my natural gait starts to widen to make room for my ever-dropping baby belly, but I think part of it has to do with the fact that I don't like the way my inner thighs rub together in this sweaty heat. Waddling reduces the friction...ugh. Sleeping is also a little less comfortable now because when I lie down, breathing gets to be more difficult until I get my belly situated "just-so" on one side or the other, so every time I wake up to roll over (or go to the bathroom), I have to resituate myself into a comfortable position to fall back asleep. My insomnia seems to have passed, but I still feel like I'm losing quite a lot of sleep because of all the time spent waking up in the middle of the night with visits to the bathroom and rolling over. And of course, I can't forget Mr. Sciatic Nerve as it continues to cramp my behind's style and Mr. Leg Cramps as it wakes me up in a jerking motion trying to get the cramp out before it really locks me up. I don't remember being so whiney about all the physical pains of pregnancy during my first pregnancy, but man...it just all seems so much worse this time around. I think I just got lucky and had it super easy my first time, so I'm paying for it this time around...:P Can't REALLY complain, though...I still have it pretty easy compared to some of my poor pregnant friends who are on bed rest or have morning sickness throughout the entire pregnancy. I feel for you guys...
Last, but not least, I've been doing a lot of reading about doulas lately and now am considering hiring one for my birth. It seems there are quite a few options here in Korea for doulas, and although I feel a lot less anxious about this labor/delivery than the first time around, I have this feeling that I experienced my first labor/delivery sort of haphazardly. I think after Jeff gets back from this exercise, we'll chat about it and see what he thinks and maybe we'll chat with one or two ladies to see how we feel. Anyone have any experience with doulas here in Korea wanna share? :)
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Silence...
I have been trying to think of how and what to write about my feelings on the transition between being a mother of one to being a mother of two, and have been at a loss for words. I was hoping it would just come naturally for me to express to my first born how the time we have shared together, just the three of us as a family, have been so special...but that she would be doubly blessed to have this new being in our lives. Still...it's hard to imagine how much our lives will change until this new one joins our lives.
I probably have a little over a month left with my Tay being my only, and it's beginning to feel like a bittersweet end. She has been everything and more than I ever imagined I would ever have as my child and her love is just incredible. I know it is inevitable that the relationship changes between a parent and child 100 times over as every day passes, but adding a new family member is sure to rock the boat and bring about some insecurity in my little girl as she sees how much time a newborn requires of the mother. Even this morning when I woke up, my lower back was aching due to my ever-growing tummy, so when my Tay asked me to carry her from her bed to mine to cuddle a bit before we got up for the day, I told her I couldn't because Mommy's back was hurting. My sweet Tay then got her groggy self out of her bed and as we walked to my bed together, she rubbed my back with her tiny little hands and said, "You feel muuuuch better now, Mommy? I make your back aaaaaalll better." ::tear:: Then we both collapsed into bed together and cuddled for a bit before getting up and ready for the work day. Will we still be able to have those moments once the new little one arrives? Probably not for at least the first six months while I'm a milking machine (hopefully), but I must do everything in my power to keep our special moments together so I can stay connected to my Tay...my sweet sweet girl...my first baby.
We did start a sort of ritual every evening a couple weeks ago - foot lotion! After bathing or showering every night, we sit at my small vanity and I massage her little feet with foot lotion and put socks on her, and then I do mine while she admires herself in the mirror. :) It's good for our tired, abused feet, and we get some girl pampering time together...she seems to enjoy it quite a bit and it gets her relaxed for bed time. After a long day, it's a good way for both of us to reconnect and relax, even if it only takes a few minutes. It's also working wonders on my nasty cracking heels and calluses.
In other Tay news, I think we will be ending her ballet classes for now after this week (end of a term), mainly because the teacher she has been with now for three terms will not be teaching the next term, and I think it would be good for her to try out a different class. I took her to a trial class called "Creative Music" where there were three young ladies who led the class in rhythm, dancing, drawing, and general silliness. Tay really seemed to enjoy the class, and since that class is conducted in Korean, I think it will be a good way for her to get more Korean language exposure since I'm clearly not providing enough of it at home. :P I have also enrolled her in a "Music Together" class in English that is supposed to be the sister class to the ones held in the US that her cousins participate in, so maybe they can be learning the same songs and activities from across the big pond that separates us! The new classes don't officially start until September, so this is the direction we're planning on going for the next three months. Because all of these classes are held in the same location as her ballet classes (IPark Culture Center, Yongsan), it should be a pretty smooth transition for her.
Once Riley arrives, we're hoping to keep Tay on her regular schedule of going to the sitter in the morning (with Jeff instead of me) so she can continue to "go to work" like normal, and at least for the first six weeks, Beth can just keep things as normal for her during the day with the library trips, playgroup visits, and these classes at IPark. And then after the work day, she can come home and I can spend some one-on-one time with her while Jeff (or my mom while she's here) can watch the baby. I'm hoping this will be the best decision for our family and the healthiest for Tay to transition into being a big sister to Riley. I'm much more nervous about how this new addition will impact Tay than I am about actually going into labor and having this child. It's a whole different feeling from when I became a mom for the first time...it's hard to explain. The excitement is there, but there is this anxiety that sits in my stomach about how the rest of my family will be changed by this small being growing inside my belly right now...
I haven't been so good with capturing the little gems coming out of my Tay's mouth lately, but one I did catch was when she saw me dressed in the morning and said, "Mommy, you look like a princess!" Mind you, I was just wearing a skirt and top for work and I was feeling as huge as a house, so that put a smile on my face for the rest of the day. :) Another one was when we visited Daddy at work this past Saturday. She was sitting on his lap putting chapstick on him and afterward, she looked at him and said, "You're a beauuuuutiful girl." Jeff then asked her what she was, and she replied, "I'm a beautiful girl, too! And Aiden is a silly boy!" Aiden is one of her little friends she adores. Hilarious.
I really want to cherish these last few weeks with my little girl being an only...I know she'll be a wonderful big sister to Riley, so I'm not so worried about that, but I want her to feel that she can never be replaced and that our love for her will only double as she assumes the new role, even if it seems we are losing time spent with just her. ::sigh::
I probably have a little over a month left with my Tay being my only, and it's beginning to feel like a bittersweet end. She has been everything and more than I ever imagined I would ever have as my child and her love is just incredible. I know it is inevitable that the relationship changes between a parent and child 100 times over as every day passes, but adding a new family member is sure to rock the boat and bring about some insecurity in my little girl as she sees how much time a newborn requires of the mother. Even this morning when I woke up, my lower back was aching due to my ever-growing tummy, so when my Tay asked me to carry her from her bed to mine to cuddle a bit before we got up for the day, I told her I couldn't because Mommy's back was hurting. My sweet Tay then got her groggy self out of her bed and as we walked to my bed together, she rubbed my back with her tiny little hands and said, "You feel muuuuch better now, Mommy? I make your back aaaaaalll better." ::tear:: Then we both collapsed into bed together and cuddled for a bit before getting up and ready for the work day. Will we still be able to have those moments once the new little one arrives? Probably not for at least the first six months while I'm a milking machine (hopefully), but I must do everything in my power to keep our special moments together so I can stay connected to my Tay...my sweet sweet girl...my first baby.
We did start a sort of ritual every evening a couple weeks ago - foot lotion! After bathing or showering every night, we sit at my small vanity and I massage her little feet with foot lotion and put socks on her, and then I do mine while she admires herself in the mirror. :) It's good for our tired, abused feet, and we get some girl pampering time together...she seems to enjoy it quite a bit and it gets her relaxed for bed time. After a long day, it's a good way for both of us to reconnect and relax, even if it only takes a few minutes. It's also working wonders on my nasty cracking heels and calluses.
In other Tay news, I think we will be ending her ballet classes for now after this week (end of a term), mainly because the teacher she has been with now for three terms will not be teaching the next term, and I think it would be good for her to try out a different class. I took her to a trial class called "Creative Music" where there were three young ladies who led the class in rhythm, dancing, drawing, and general silliness. Tay really seemed to enjoy the class, and since that class is conducted in Korean, I think it will be a good way for her to get more Korean language exposure since I'm clearly not providing enough of it at home. :P I have also enrolled her in a "Music Together" class in English that is supposed to be the sister class to the ones held in the US that her cousins participate in, so maybe they can be learning the same songs and activities from across the big pond that separates us! The new classes don't officially start until September, so this is the direction we're planning on going for the next three months. Because all of these classes are held in the same location as her ballet classes (IPark Culture Center, Yongsan), it should be a pretty smooth transition for her.
Once Riley arrives, we're hoping to keep Tay on her regular schedule of going to the sitter in the morning (with Jeff instead of me) so she can continue to "go to work" like normal, and at least for the first six weeks, Beth can just keep things as normal for her during the day with the library trips, playgroup visits, and these classes at IPark. And then after the work day, she can come home and I can spend some one-on-one time with her while Jeff (or my mom while she's here) can watch the baby. I'm hoping this will be the best decision for our family and the healthiest for Tay to transition into being a big sister to Riley. I'm much more nervous about how this new addition will impact Tay than I am about actually going into labor and having this child. It's a whole different feeling from when I became a mom for the first time...it's hard to explain. The excitement is there, but there is this anxiety that sits in my stomach about how the rest of my family will be changed by this small being growing inside my belly right now...
I haven't been so good with capturing the little gems coming out of my Tay's mouth lately, but one I did catch was when she saw me dressed in the morning and said, "Mommy, you look like a princess!" Mind you, I was just wearing a skirt and top for work and I was feeling as huge as a house, so that put a smile on my face for the rest of the day. :) Another one was when we visited Daddy at work this past Saturday. She was sitting on his lap putting chapstick on him and afterward, she looked at him and said, "You're a beauuuuutiful girl." Jeff then asked her what she was, and she replied, "I'm a beautiful girl, too! And Aiden is a silly boy!" Aiden is one of her little friends she adores. Hilarious.
I really want to cherish these last few weeks with my little girl being an only...I know she'll be a wonderful big sister to Riley, so I'm not so worried about that, but I want her to feel that she can never be replaced and that our love for her will only double as she assumes the new role, even if it seems we are losing time spent with just her. ::sigh::
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)