This morning was the first real doctor's appointment regarding the pregnancy.
All anxiety aside, the visit was great! I got to hear the baby's heart beat...beating at 109 bpm...which is much slower than when we heard Tay for the first time...she was beating at 156 bpm! The first thought that came to mind was that it could be a boy!
I also got to see how much larger the gestational sac had become and saw the little flickering heartbeat of the 2mm-long baby growing in there. Amazing...
Never had the chance to see Tay so small...so it looks like this will be quite the experience. The early information adds a bit of anxiety to the whole pregnancy, though...with Tay, it was mostly just checking to see if she was growing okay and such, but in the earliest stages, I was mostly concerned with how sick I was going to get...not worrying about the clarity of the yolk sac or residual blood in my uterus...now I'm worrying about those things, too!
Maybe those things are better not to know...but it's nice to see the little one already flickering in there...amazing.
Looking forward to getting to tell the family...
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Patiently Waiting...
I guess the start of a pregnancy is mostly about waiting patiently...waiting for that first double line, waiting for that first doctor's appointment, waiting for the first signs and symptoms, waiting for that indicative bulge of a mother-in-waiting, waiting for that first movement...
I have been waiting a long 8 days for my real first doctor's appointment where they will tell me the viability of my little one that has attached itself in my womb. Tomorrow morning will be the check up day where they will tell me things are looking good or if I should prepare for something else. I have a good feeling about tomorrow, but there is always that little bit of anxiety, you know? With the first, I didn't get to see my little "bean" before she had already sprouted arms and legs and kicking frantically in my belly. It was the most amazing sight. I am glad that this go around, I am able to see her from her egg form stuck inside my womb like a little speck...but it does add some anxiety.
My waist has already started to expand and my clothes are already fitting tightly. This is not a good sign. The sensitivity of the nose has not gotten worse, but I do smell specific things very strongly...although it doesn't really affect me negatively. My starting weight with Tay was 140 and I almost hit 200 pounds with her, so I hope that doesn't happen again. My starting weight now is 138, so my target weight will be 170. Let's not shoot for 200 again...that was just not pleasant.
As for other symptoms, I think my hormones are definitely in flux because I have been very snappy and emotionally reactive to Jeff and Tay recently. Having Han here and all the issues going on with that have also been weighing on my mind, so that hasn't helped my emotional state. I haven't had any crying breakdowns or anything, but I am definitely getting my feelings hurt over small things...I need to relax and let it go.
It is already getting a bit harder to hold and carry Tay around. I think it's just the exhaustion that comes in early pregnancy...but man...she's around 30 pounds already, so how much longer will I be able to carry her around? I really need to read up on how to make her feel secure in our love so that she loves her soon-to-be little sibling...
I wonder if it will be a boy or a girl? I think a girl...
I have been waiting a long 8 days for my real first doctor's appointment where they will tell me the viability of my little one that has attached itself in my womb. Tomorrow morning will be the check up day where they will tell me things are looking good or if I should prepare for something else. I have a good feeling about tomorrow, but there is always that little bit of anxiety, you know? With the first, I didn't get to see my little "bean" before she had already sprouted arms and legs and kicking frantically in my belly. It was the most amazing sight. I am glad that this go around, I am able to see her from her egg form stuck inside my womb like a little speck...but it does add some anxiety.
My waist has already started to expand and my clothes are already fitting tightly. This is not a good sign. The sensitivity of the nose has not gotten worse, but I do smell specific things very strongly...although it doesn't really affect me negatively. My starting weight with Tay was 140 and I almost hit 200 pounds with her, so I hope that doesn't happen again. My starting weight now is 138, so my target weight will be 170. Let's not shoot for 200 again...that was just not pleasant.
As for other symptoms, I think my hormones are definitely in flux because I have been very snappy and emotionally reactive to Jeff and Tay recently. Having Han here and all the issues going on with that have also been weighing on my mind, so that hasn't helped my emotional state. I haven't had any crying breakdowns or anything, but I am definitely getting my feelings hurt over small things...I need to relax and let it go.
It is already getting a bit harder to hold and carry Tay around. I think it's just the exhaustion that comes in early pregnancy...but man...she's around 30 pounds already, so how much longer will I be able to carry her around? I really need to read up on how to make her feel secure in our love so that she loves her soon-to-be little sibling...
I wonder if it will be a boy or a girl? I think a girl...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Possibly...Night Terrors?
As of late, Tay has been having a rough time with going to sleep. Or maybe a better way to say it is that we have been having a rough time getting Tay to go to sleep. For a girl who's never given me problems about going to sleep (except that one time she decided to be a tiger), it's quite the frustrating battle. From what I read, it's that this new toddlerhood is just making her so excited about everything going on with life that she doesn't want to miss out. I'm okay with that, so we had been letting her stay up a little later every night. This is not the path I want to walk down, but I was just getting tired of the battles. Tears every night with wimpers of "no seep, no seep" is just not something I want to face...::sigh::
Anyhow, I think that the sleep that she's missing out on because she's going to bed later is starting to take its toll on her. Last night, Jeff and I woke up to three bouts of just sitting up and screaming/crying and nothing would console her until I woke her up and rocked her back to sleep. I think that's the tale-tell sign of a night terror, isn't it? And being overtired can trigger night terrors...from what I've read...so is that what my poor child is facing???
I must take a stand and make her go to sleep earlier. Operation "more sleep" will commence tonight.
Anyhow, I think that the sleep that she's missing out on because she's going to bed later is starting to take its toll on her. Last night, Jeff and I woke up to three bouts of just sitting up and screaming/crying and nothing would console her until I woke her up and rocked her back to sleep. I think that's the tale-tell sign of a night terror, isn't it? And being overtired can trigger night terrors...from what I've read...so is that what my poor child is facing???
I must take a stand and make her go to sleep earlier. Operation "more sleep" will commence tonight.
First Symptom...
When we found out we were pregnant with Tay, I didn't have immediate symptoms of pregnancy
First Symptom...
When we found out we were pregnant with Tay, I didn't have immediate symptoms of pregnancy...well, hardly any at all, actually, throughout the entire pregnancy. Just a couple mornings of serious nausea.
With the second angel, I've felt a bit queasy already, and when I went to choir practice today, the nausea picked up because I couldn't get this STRONG smell of jja jjang myun out of my nose, which was probably someone's dinner. I guess my sense of smell is actually going to be heightened for this pregnancy...this could be interesting.
The excitement about this pregnancy is building quickly...:) Each moment I think of you, I get a little bit happier. :) You're going to have the most wonderful big sister...
With the second angel, I've felt a bit queasy already, and when I went to choir practice today, the nausea picked up because I couldn't get this STRONG smell of jja jjang myun out of my nose, which was probably someone's dinner. I guess my sense of smell is actually going to be heightened for this pregnancy...this could be interesting.
The excitement about this pregnancy is building quickly...:) Each moment I think of you, I get a little bit happier. :) You're going to have the most wonderful big sister...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Positive!
Well, well, well...we've done it again.
Over Christmas and new years, our family took a vacation to the states (VA and FL), and while on that vacation, we weren't thinking of trying for a second child...but it appears we have managed to do it again.
We got back from the states and I had been feeling a little funny because I had some spotting about three weeks after my last period, but didn't have anything more after a day or two. I had been breaking out like a teenager going through puberty again, too, which was quite annoying. I'm sure Jeff will tell you that I've been moody, too. Another indicator was that one day after a large meal, I patted my stomach and asked Shingil, "What's this?" and her immediate response was "BABY!" We had a good chuckle from that, but it didn't click then that I might remotely be pregnant. I had a scheduled appointment with an OB/GYN regarding my irregular periods in the previous months, so I went to that scheduled appointment...
When I got there, they decided to do a quick sonogram to determine where in my cycle I was since I had already spotted. Well...the technician looked at the screen for a while and then said to me, "um...you weren't planning on being pregnant, were you?" I told her we weren't "trying" but we weren't "not trying" either and that it would be a good thing if we were pregnant. She said, "It looks like you're pregnant!" She then showed me a printout of the little egg sac in my uterus that just looked like a tiny black jellybean in a smear of grey...amazing. What she did tell me, though, was that the yolk sac (a little white spot in the black jellybean) should be more of a ring with a clear center, but mine was a little round white spot like a snowflake sitting in the egg sac. She said it wasn't anything to be concerned with, but it was something they wanted to check because it could mean that the pregnancy might be high risk...whatever that means. Well, I was excited and nervous and anxious about the whole thing, but it was like I already knew...
It's such a different feeling from when we found out we were pregnant with Shingil...it was just pure excitement then...whereas now, I feel more worried than excited...I worry that we may not be ready for this. Maybe Shingil is not ready to be a big sister yet...but maybe she is...maybe I'm just not ready...but I think I am. I am so happy at the possibility of being pregnant...yet I'm so nervous.
Well, while I was getting my check-up, I told Jeff to pick up some pregnancy tests, so when I got home after work that day, I took one of the tests and waited three minutes...and guess what? It was positive!!!
I was not surprised, but still very happy...and it was a strange feeling that I had already seen the little angel growing inside of me already before I even knew I was pregnant...before I ever took a pregnancy test.
I took a picture of the pregnancy test stick for good measure. I still want to treat this new little angel with as much love as I outpoured onto my first...my little Shingil. I know it won't be the same...but I want to do this.
Jeff and I have decided to keep this a secret from our families until we see them in May. I should be quite obviously showing by then...and they will be quite shocked...will we be able to keep it a secret??? I sure hope so.
Little Angel #2...you are loved...and the worry in my heart will pass and joy will replace the anxiety. I love you.
Love,
Umma
Over Christmas and new years, our family took a vacation to the states (VA and FL), and while on that vacation, we weren't thinking of trying for a second child...but it appears we have managed to do it again.
We got back from the states and I had been feeling a little funny because I had some spotting about three weeks after my last period, but didn't have anything more after a day or two. I had been breaking out like a teenager going through puberty again, too, which was quite annoying. I'm sure Jeff will tell you that I've been moody, too. Another indicator was that one day after a large meal, I patted my stomach and asked Shingil, "What's this?" and her immediate response was "BABY!" We had a good chuckle from that, but it didn't click then that I might remotely be pregnant. I had a scheduled appointment with an OB/GYN regarding my irregular periods in the previous months, so I went to that scheduled appointment...
When I got there, they decided to do a quick sonogram to determine where in my cycle I was since I had already spotted. Well...the technician looked at the screen for a while and then said to me, "um...you weren't planning on being pregnant, were you?" I told her we weren't "trying" but we weren't "not trying" either and that it would be a good thing if we were pregnant. She said, "It looks like you're pregnant!" She then showed me a printout of the little egg sac in my uterus that just looked like a tiny black jellybean in a smear of grey...amazing. What she did tell me, though, was that the yolk sac (a little white spot in the black jellybean) should be more of a ring with a clear center, but mine was a little round white spot like a snowflake sitting in the egg sac. She said it wasn't anything to be concerned with, but it was something they wanted to check because it could mean that the pregnancy might be high risk...whatever that means. Well, I was excited and nervous and anxious about the whole thing, but it was like I already knew...
It's such a different feeling from when we found out we were pregnant with Shingil...it was just pure excitement then...whereas now, I feel more worried than excited...I worry that we may not be ready for this. Maybe Shingil is not ready to be a big sister yet...but maybe she is...maybe I'm just not ready...but I think I am. I am so happy at the possibility of being pregnant...yet I'm so nervous.
Well, while I was getting my check-up, I told Jeff to pick up some pregnancy tests, so when I got home after work that day, I took one of the tests and waited three minutes...and guess what? It was positive!!!
I was not surprised, but still very happy...and it was a strange feeling that I had already seen the little angel growing inside of me already before I even knew I was pregnant...before I ever took a pregnancy test.
I took a picture of the pregnancy test stick for good measure. I still want to treat this new little angel with as much love as I outpoured onto my first...my little Shingil. I know it won't be the same...but I want to do this.
Jeff and I have decided to keep this a secret from our families until we see them in May. I should be quite obviously showing by then...and they will be quite shocked...will we be able to keep it a secret??? I sure hope so.
Little Angel #2...you are loved...and the worry in my heart will pass and joy will replace the anxiety. I love you.
Love,
Umma
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Christmas Vacation
Christmas 2009 and new year 2010 were a whirlwind and spent surrounded by families. We flew into Bristol, VA, to spend Christmas with the Kim famiy on the 21st of December. While in Bristol, Tay got to spend a lot of time with her No-no (Halmuni) and Ebby (Harabuji) and even got familiar with Uncle Han. While there, her vocabulary and phrasing increased dramatically and she popped out with phrases like, "No-no house; cold outside" when we drove up to Halmuni's drive way.
While we were in Bristol, we also took a quick visit down to Ashville, NC, to visit Jesse and Megan who are getting hitched in May 2010 (and Jeff will be a groomsman). Tay had quite the visit with many tantrums about the cat they had and its small playhouse, which she claimed as hers...
Christmas eve, our family went to midnight Mass at St. Anne's (namely because our internal clocks still hadn't adjusted to EST) and Tay was surprisingly good, but not without frequent trips out of the sanctuary. Luckily, she fell asleep part way through (nap time) and she slept the rest of the Mass. I ran into Carmen before Mass so we got caught up a bit while the choir sang Lessons and Carols before the Mass began.
We linked up with Sarah and Jesse for lunch, too, which was nice; Sarah was actually due with the little Wingo on Christmas day, but she was late. Tay called her "baby" the entire time we were there, but we shared a great meal at Logan's.
Another exciting (albeit lowly attended) event was my 10-year high school reunion. It was scheduled for the day after Christmas, which actually was clever since many people were in town for Christmas, but still we had a pretty small showing. It was nice to see many of the people again since most of them I hadn't seen since graduation - correction - I hadn't seen any of them since graduation back in 1999. Amazing. I would say the funniest thing we talked about was how FB really cuts down on small talk since you can "FB-stalk" people and read up on how everyone is doing without really having to say anything...so you already know everything that most people make small-talk about...:) Ah well...such is social media. We did end up taking Tay to the event, but she passed out before she got a chance to meet anyone and stayed asleep the entire time we were there.
The day after the reunion, we made our way down to Florida (via plane) and checked into Tay's first Disney hotel! We stayed at the Pop Century resort; the room was a bit cozy and the bed arrangement was a bit difficult, but we managed and we got to visit Animal Kingdom (although it was surprisingly cold that day) and we LOVED our day at downtown Disney. Tay particularly enjoyed the fountains, but she didn't get wet (thankfully) since it was still a pretty chilly day. At Animal Kingdom, we did get to take the Safari ride, and Tay was enjoying it until the car movement put her to sleep. She was riding along and pointing out the animals she recognized until suddenly, she said, "Umma, giaff (giraff), ni-nite" and zonked out right after we saw the giraffs. I think Tay's favorite part of being at Disney, though, were the Mickey ice creams (definitely my favorite!). She definitely did not care to see any of the characters...still not so happy around people in costumes...I guess giant characters are pretty scary...
While at Disney, we had planned on linking up with Justin, Leslie and the girls for an outdoor movie in Orlando, but because the weather was so cold, we decided against it and we ended up driving down to Melbourne for a nice dinner and evening with the girls. Lucy and Tay were particularly amusing with their love-hate relationship and Polly and Evie were so sweet to Tay and all grown up!
After a few days at Disney, we drove over to Lakeland to ring in the new year with the rest of the Ryals family. The girls got to celebrate a second (or third or fourth) Christmas all together as cousins before the new year with presents and the weather even warmed up so they could have some fun running around outside in the neighborhood. New year's eve, we even got to shoot off some fireworks, which everyone found spectacular, and Polly won the big prize for most enthusiastic cheerer during the fireworks! We did our own version of a "count down" to the new year and sent the girls to bed. The adults hung about a bit, but as I watched TV and read a bit, I felt suddenly nauseous and had to quickly excuse myself. It was definitely a bout of food poisoning, and I was about to hop on a plane the next day...ugh. Anyhow, we made it back to the hotel (Tay still knocked out) and Jeff and I tried to commence packing. Well...Jeff made the call to delay our flight a bit and so we spent one more day in Lakeland (and had a nice dinner with JJ and Abs) and then made our way over to Melbourne to spend some more time with Granny and Pops and the girls.
We had another nice dinner at Justin and Leslie's and we had these amazing cheese blintzes that Granny made two mornings in a row! We also got to take Tay to the Brevard Zoo again (which is an excellent zoo, by the way) and Tay got to see many more giraffs close up, although she was none too excited about actually feeding them the crackers. She also got to feed some birds, a swan, and deer. I think her favorite was the swan because it stayed the farthest away...:) We got to relax and recover a bit before finally hopping on the long flight back to Korea. We left Melbourne around 3am, got to Orlando for our 6am flight and finally stepped back into our house in frozen Korea the next day around 7pm. That journey is just so long...but it was definitely worth it to see and spend so much time with all of our family.
Happy new year! Here's to an incredible 2010!
While we were in Bristol, we also took a quick visit down to Ashville, NC, to visit Jesse and Megan who are getting hitched in May 2010 (and Jeff will be a groomsman). Tay had quite the visit with many tantrums about the cat they had and its small playhouse, which she claimed as hers...
Christmas eve, our family went to midnight Mass at St. Anne's (namely because our internal clocks still hadn't adjusted to EST) and Tay was surprisingly good, but not without frequent trips out of the sanctuary. Luckily, she fell asleep part way through (nap time) and she slept the rest of the Mass. I ran into Carmen before Mass so we got caught up a bit while the choir sang Lessons and Carols before the Mass began.
We linked up with Sarah and Jesse for lunch, too, which was nice; Sarah was actually due with the little Wingo on Christmas day, but she was late. Tay called her "baby" the entire time we were there, but we shared a great meal at Logan's.
Another exciting (albeit lowly attended) event was my 10-year high school reunion. It was scheduled for the day after Christmas, which actually was clever since many people were in town for Christmas, but still we had a pretty small showing. It was nice to see many of the people again since most of them I hadn't seen since graduation - correction - I hadn't seen any of them since graduation back in 1999. Amazing. I would say the funniest thing we talked about was how FB really cuts down on small talk since you can "FB-stalk" people and read up on how everyone is doing without really having to say anything...so you already know everything that most people make small-talk about...:) Ah well...such is social media. We did end up taking Tay to the event, but she passed out before she got a chance to meet anyone and stayed asleep the entire time we were there.
The day after the reunion, we made our way down to Florida (via plane) and checked into Tay's first Disney hotel! We stayed at the Pop Century resort; the room was a bit cozy and the bed arrangement was a bit difficult, but we managed and we got to visit Animal Kingdom (although it was surprisingly cold that day) and we LOVED our day at downtown Disney. Tay particularly enjoyed the fountains, but she didn't get wet (thankfully) since it was still a pretty chilly day. At Animal Kingdom, we did get to take the Safari ride, and Tay was enjoying it until the car movement put her to sleep. She was riding along and pointing out the animals she recognized until suddenly, she said, "Umma, giaff (giraff), ni-nite" and zonked out right after we saw the giraffs. I think Tay's favorite part of being at Disney, though, were the Mickey ice creams (definitely my favorite!). She definitely did not care to see any of the characters...still not so happy around people in costumes...I guess giant characters are pretty scary...
While at Disney, we had planned on linking up with Justin, Leslie and the girls for an outdoor movie in Orlando, but because the weather was so cold, we decided against it and we ended up driving down to Melbourne for a nice dinner and evening with the girls. Lucy and Tay were particularly amusing with their love-hate relationship and Polly and Evie were so sweet to Tay and all grown up!
After a few days at Disney, we drove over to Lakeland to ring in the new year with the rest of the Ryals family. The girls got to celebrate a second (or third or fourth) Christmas all together as cousins before the new year with presents and the weather even warmed up so they could have some fun running around outside in the neighborhood. New year's eve, we even got to shoot off some fireworks, which everyone found spectacular, and Polly won the big prize for most enthusiastic cheerer during the fireworks! We did our own version of a "count down" to the new year and sent the girls to bed. The adults hung about a bit, but as I watched TV and read a bit, I felt suddenly nauseous and had to quickly excuse myself. It was definitely a bout of food poisoning, and I was about to hop on a plane the next day...ugh. Anyhow, we made it back to the hotel (Tay still knocked out) and Jeff and I tried to commence packing. Well...Jeff made the call to delay our flight a bit and so we spent one more day in Lakeland (and had a nice dinner with JJ and Abs) and then made our way over to Melbourne to spend some more time with Granny and Pops and the girls.
We had another nice dinner at Justin and Leslie's and we had these amazing cheese blintzes that Granny made two mornings in a row! We also got to take Tay to the Brevard Zoo again (which is an excellent zoo, by the way) and Tay got to see many more giraffs close up, although she was none too excited about actually feeding them the crackers. She also got to feed some birds, a swan, and deer. I think her favorite was the swan because it stayed the farthest away...:) We got to relax and recover a bit before finally hopping on the long flight back to Korea. We left Melbourne around 3am, got to Orlando for our 6am flight and finally stepped back into our house in frozen Korea the next day around 7pm. That journey is just so long...but it was definitely worth it to see and spend so much time with all of our family.
Happy new year! Here's to an incredible 2010!
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