It has been a wonderfully relaxing four days here at Callaway Gardens, Georgia. We landed in Atlanta on Saturday morning after a grueling flight from Incheon. On our way to Callaway, we stopped by some very important stores to ensure we picked up the necessities before getting to our destination - namely Babies R Us and Target - and eventually found ourselves at the registration office for our Summer Family Adventure. :)
Sweetheart that Tay is, she stayed awake through almost the entire flight...not really causing too many problems, but also not allowing a very exhausted pregnant Mom to get any sleep...:P Nonetheless, the flight was uneventful, thankfully, so although I was cranky by the time we landed, Jeff kept his spirits up for the three of us and we made it all the way to Callaway with no meltdowns. Tay actually fell asleep the last couple hours on the plane and continued to sleep through immigration, customs, BabiesRUs, Target, and the beautiful drive down to Callaway. Once we were parked at the registration office and Jeff went inside to pick up our paperwork and keys, she awoke and as soon as she saw me peering back at her from the front seat, she smiled her sweet little smile. I asked her how she slept and she whispered, "Good." Then she got a puzzled look on her face and asked, "Where's Tita?" Hehehe...I guess she assumed we were on our way to "work" as we did almost every morning back in Korea. After I told her Tita was at her house and that we were on vacation, she nodded in groggy understanding and she glanced around the car...at which point her eyes widened a little more as she saw that the car was not our normal car. She looked quickly down at her car seat and grinning, she said, "Who got me my new car seat? You get it for me?" Funny child. Then she must have remembered that she was on an airplane before, so she asked, "Where airplane go?"
Well, once Jeff came back out of the registration office, we made our way to our cottage for the next two weeks. Tay, of course, asked if this was our new home, and we explained it would be for a little while. We looked around the neighborhood and Jeff showed us the grounds in our "little bitty car," which is what Tay decided to call our golf cart. :) That evening, we got ourselves dinner and a treat from the "malt shop & pizzaria" and had a nice swim to end the day. The water was so wonderfully warm in the pool that we didn't want to get out, even though it was around 9pm! Someone had left a noodle in the pool and as one family was leaving, a little kid came up and gave the noodle to Tay to play with since, I assume, it wasn't theirs either. Maybe it was a community noodle. Tay said thank you and then she turned to me and said, "Her gave it to me!" and she was so excited. :) We played with the noodle for a while, floating around, her playing lifeguard and pulling me out of the water using the noodle as her "lasso" and talking through it like a telephone. She really didn't want to leave the pool, but with promises of returning tomorrow, we finally made our way back to the cottage (which is about a 100 yards away if you take the long route) and prepared to sleep for the night...or so we thought. Tay was none to excited about going to bed because she was now wide awake...oh my...and Jeff and I...were quite exhausted. We battled it out until around 11pm before she finally went to sleep after much tears. She did wake up many many times throughout the night, as did we because of the jet lag, but we tried to sleep as much as we could.
Jeff took Tay for a jog in the stroller Sunday morning before the sun came up and I tidied up around the house and unpacked a bit more. After they got back, Tay was sound asleep in the stroller - I forgot to mention, Tay didn't sleep past 1:30 the night before. We decided to let her sleep a bit thinking she'd wake up before we went to breakfast at 8, but she didn't wake up so we just put her sleeping into the car seat and went on to breakfast. Jeff took us to the Country Store, which was absolutely delicious...I had whole wheat banana griddle cakes and couldn't finish them because of the quantity, but they were absolutely delicious. I also ate the rest of Jeff's grits...yum. Tay slept through the entire meal and didn't even wake up when we strapped her back in the car seat to go home.
That afternoon, my mom and dad drove down from Virginia to join us at the cottage for a week. We met them at another ice cream parlor called Sages, but I wasn't as impressed there as I was with the malt shop. Eh. Tay woke up then, and she quickly got reacquainted with my folks and it has been just days of grandparent spoiling since. Tay's got the good life going for her during this vacation. First, my folks will spoil her until the Ryals grandparents arrive and do the hand-off at the end of this week and then she gets spoiled by them for the next two weeks and then it's back to my folks for a week in Virginia! A whole month of getting spoiled by grandparents...she's never going to want to go back home! :) I guess that's what summer vacations should be all about...
It has been a fantastic first three/four days here at Callaway with lots of walking, a little hiking, lots of swimming and catching fireflies...:) We've got visitors coming down the next couple days and then the other side of the family arrives this weekend so it's going to be pure chaos once the rest of the clan gets here! Really looking forward to it!!!
What a WONDERFUL start to our 2010 summer vacation!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Growing up...
Perhaps I was in denial, but I always had the secret hope in my mind that my relationship that is so sweet and loving with my daughter would never fade and that I would never get my feelings hurt by a 2-year-old. Well, perhaps I am right that the relationship won't fade, but it is definitely changing and in transition from my snuggly little girl into an independent girl who wants to grow her individuality and assert her opinions. I got my feelings hurt this morning when she woke up and she called out...she didn't specify who she wanted at first, so I went to her bed and started to lie down next to her and instead of her usual, "Hi, Umma," I got a quick shove and a, "NO! I don't want you! Daaaaddy!" From that moment, the entire morning was denying everything and anything I asked her, to include getting dressed and getting out the door. Of course, Jeff's just eating this stuff up...:P So...I've already lost her to Daddy...so when do I get her back? Of course, I've had other moments similar to this where she only wanted Daddy or her Tita to do whatever was originally asked, but why did my feelings get hurt this morning? Because at least in the morning, she lets me hug her or something to say good morning...not an immediate, NO! Sadly, I'm sure other parents will assure me, that I've got many more of these moments ahead of me and many (and far more emotionally painful) battles to fight with my little girls, but the question is...can I handle them? And the tougher question is...how much have I hurt my own Mom's feelings? A countless number, I'm sure...
I guess it's true what they say about how the ones you love the most can also hurt you the most. All you can do is just keep loving them more until they come to love you back. That's just what you do with family...
Well, when we finally did get out the door this morning, as we were leaving, Tay took my hand and said, "Come on, Mommy. We go to Tita's now." The girl is a creature of habit. When we got to Tita's, I handed her off, and that's when she reached for me for the first time all morning and with a sheepish little grin on her face, she said, "Mama, mama" like she used to when she was a little baby. I gave her a hug and she squeezed me tight and gave me a big kiss. As they headed up to the apartment and I to my car, she looked back at me and yelled, "I love you!" I yelled back, "I love you, too!" and smiled as I got in my car. Children just have no idea how much they can toy with a parent's emotions...
Tay is getting so grown up. It's still amazing to me that since her transition to her twin bed last month (23 May), she has yet to come sleep in our bed again...not even in the middle of the night or in the morning. She's completely potty trained during the day, even when we go to the pool! I'm still trying to think of the best method of nighttime potty training, but I think I'll wait on that until after the sibling arrives. She pretty much feeds herself as long as I prepare her food in reasonably sized pieces so she can eat whatever she gets on her spoon or fork or chopsticks in one bite. She loves kimchee! She'll sit and read books to her "babies" when she's not busy cooking in her play kitchen or dancing around the house singing "SUNNY DAY!" or "Reach to the sky like you're climbing a rope!" Tay's so very talkative...she chatters on non-stop about various thoughts that come to mind, and one of the funniest things she does is to go and pick up her play phone and have a full conversation with someone on the other line about various subjects she remembers. For example, she had played over at a friend's house the other day and she left two of her play cups there. She called him up on her play phone the next day and this is how the conversation went: "Hi, ---. How aaare you?" Pause. "I'm fine, thank you." Pause. "How are you dooooing?" Pause. "Can I come over? I need a get my cups. I leff dem at yoooou house. I neeeeed dem." Pause. "You eeeeating?" Pause. "Okay. Love you. Bye! Mmmwah." (This is how she ends almost all of her phone conversations). Jeff and I just listened to the whole conversation in amazement that she even remembered that she left those cups at her friend's house.
Tay has also been very curious what people's names are. If anyone addresses her or talks to one of us (adults), she always in turn asks, "Who's daaaat?" and when we tell her we don't know, then she'll say, "I ask. What's yooou name?" She recently started calling people her "friends," too...which is really cute. At the playground a couple days ago, she was climbing up something and these two other girls just a tad older than her, I think, were climbing up the structure as well. One of them lightly stepped on Tay's finger, and immediately stopped and said sorry and kissed her finger. Tay gave the little girl her other hand to kiss, too! The little girl did so, and then they went on climbing and playing and when the other two little girls ran somewhere else to go play, Tay came up to me and said, "Where my friends go?"
Her imagination must just be going 100-miles a minute because the other day, she also told me to come sit in her house (her play area) because it was "dinnuh time." I sat there at her little table, curious to see what she would bring me. She carried over a little pot with something rattling around in side and I asked her what it was. She told me, "Don't touch it yet. It's hooooot. I blow it for you." I asked her again what it was, and she opened the pot and said, "(M)ushroom soup," and when I looked inside her pot, there was one mushroom topping piece from her pizza game! Hilarious.
On another note, not that this entry isn't long enough already, we have started Tay with somewhat regular "swim" lessons. Private lessons for the time being until we can find some folks who might want to do lessons together. Tay tends to pay attention beter (oddly enough) when there are other kids around and she seems to learn faster. She's already pretty comfortable in the water and she's perfectly happy putting her face in the water, blowing bubbles, kicking and flailing her arms, so I think we'll have her making her way around the pool pretty soon. What I'm happy with is that after the first lesson, she learned how to get into a pool safely holding onto the side, and she is much more comfortable with lying on her back with assistance in the water whereas before, she really did NOT like going on her back in the water at all. When we took her swimming yesterday, she happily stretched out on her back with her head on my shoulder and made the T-shape like she was taught. I love that she loves the water...it's going to be a fun summer. :)
This coming weekend we fly to the states for some much needed vacation time with the family. It will be great to see the extended family and enjoy some good outdoor fun. Definitely looking forward to relaxing and reconnecting...looking for some rejuvination before the final trimester...:)
I guess it's true what they say about how the ones you love the most can also hurt you the most. All you can do is just keep loving them more until they come to love you back. That's just what you do with family...
Well, when we finally did get out the door this morning, as we were leaving, Tay took my hand and said, "Come on, Mommy. We go to Tita's now." The girl is a creature of habit. When we got to Tita's, I handed her off, and that's when she reached for me for the first time all morning and with a sheepish little grin on her face, she said, "Mama, mama" like she used to when she was a little baby. I gave her a hug and she squeezed me tight and gave me a big kiss. As they headed up to the apartment and I to my car, she looked back at me and yelled, "I love you!" I yelled back, "I love you, too!" and smiled as I got in my car. Children just have no idea how much they can toy with a parent's emotions...
Tay is getting so grown up. It's still amazing to me that since her transition to her twin bed last month (23 May), she has yet to come sleep in our bed again...not even in the middle of the night or in the morning. She's completely potty trained during the day, even when we go to the pool! I'm still trying to think of the best method of nighttime potty training, but I think I'll wait on that until after the sibling arrives. She pretty much feeds herself as long as I prepare her food in reasonably sized pieces so she can eat whatever she gets on her spoon or fork or chopsticks in one bite. She loves kimchee! She'll sit and read books to her "babies" when she's not busy cooking in her play kitchen or dancing around the house singing "SUNNY DAY!" or "Reach to the sky like you're climbing a rope!" Tay's so very talkative...she chatters on non-stop about various thoughts that come to mind, and one of the funniest things she does is to go and pick up her play phone and have a full conversation with someone on the other line about various subjects she remembers. For example, she had played over at a friend's house the other day and she left two of her play cups there. She called him up on her play phone the next day and this is how the conversation went: "Hi, ---. How aaare you?" Pause. "I'm fine, thank you." Pause. "How are you dooooing?" Pause. "Can I come over? I need a get my cups. I leff dem at yoooou house. I neeeeed dem." Pause. "You eeeeating?" Pause. "Okay. Love you. Bye! Mmmwah." (This is how she ends almost all of her phone conversations). Jeff and I just listened to the whole conversation in amazement that she even remembered that she left those cups at her friend's house.
Tay has also been very curious what people's names are. If anyone addresses her or talks to one of us (adults), she always in turn asks, "Who's daaaat?" and when we tell her we don't know, then she'll say, "I ask. What's yooou name?" She recently started calling people her "friends," too...which is really cute. At the playground a couple days ago, she was climbing up something and these two other girls just a tad older than her, I think, were climbing up the structure as well. One of them lightly stepped on Tay's finger, and immediately stopped and said sorry and kissed her finger. Tay gave the little girl her other hand to kiss, too! The little girl did so, and then they went on climbing and playing and when the other two little girls ran somewhere else to go play, Tay came up to me and said, "Where my friends go?"
Her imagination must just be going 100-miles a minute because the other day, she also told me to come sit in her house (her play area) because it was "dinnuh time." I sat there at her little table, curious to see what she would bring me. She carried over a little pot with something rattling around in side and I asked her what it was. She told me, "Don't touch it yet. It's hooooot. I blow it for you." I asked her again what it was, and she opened the pot and said, "(M)ushroom soup," and when I looked inside her pot, there was one mushroom topping piece from her pizza game! Hilarious.
On another note, not that this entry isn't long enough already, we have started Tay with somewhat regular "swim" lessons. Private lessons for the time being until we can find some folks who might want to do lessons together. Tay tends to pay attention beter (oddly enough) when there are other kids around and she seems to learn faster. She's already pretty comfortable in the water and she's perfectly happy putting her face in the water, blowing bubbles, kicking and flailing her arms, so I think we'll have her making her way around the pool pretty soon. What I'm happy with is that after the first lesson, she learned how to get into a pool safely holding onto the side, and she is much more comfortable with lying on her back with assistance in the water whereas before, she really did NOT like going on her back in the water at all. When we took her swimming yesterday, she happily stretched out on her back with her head on my shoulder and made the T-shape like she was taught. I love that she loves the water...it's going to be a fun summer. :)
This coming weekend we fly to the states for some much needed vacation time with the family. It will be great to see the extended family and enjoy some good outdoor fun. Definitely looking forward to relaxing and reconnecting...looking for some rejuvination before the final trimester...:)
Monday, June 21, 2010
No Phone Call Yet...
Well, so far, I've received no phone call regarding my glucose screening, which might mean good news that I am not gestationaly diebetic. It's been almost a week, and usually they call within the week if anything is wrong. We'll wait a few more days before the final determination.
The doctor's visit last Tuesday went about as expected. They told me I was gaining too much weight and told me I needed to go on a diet. Eh. Luckily, I am somewhat numbed to them saying it now, so it didn't have the effect it did the first few times. :P The baby has grown quite a bit since my last visit, too, though, so it's not just all me! Anyhow, I'm now sitting around 27 weeks according to the size of the baby, and they said it's about time for me to start doing exercises to make the baby turn. She's sitting in a breech position right now with her head snuggled up near my rib cage and constantly kicking my bladder. It's so strange to have so much information this pregnancy. I wouldn't have known if Tay was in a breech or otherwise position until at least week 36 or so...and probably wouldn't have worried about it. Now I'm doing daily exercises already to get this little one to turn...but I think there's still too much room in there for her to stay in the head-down position. A few times after the exercises, I'll feel her kicking up in my rib cage and think, oh, she's turned, but then later on that day, she'll be right back down by my bladder kicking away. Maybe I should just wait a few more weeks before trying to get her turned...in the mean time, she seems to be just fine rolling around in there however she feels like rolling.
I've also tried adjusting my diet a little, mostly snacking on grape/cherry tomatoes - my latest "craving" persay. It's hard trying to eat only healthy alternatives...for me, I think it's mostly portion control that I have issues with...and preventing myself from eating whatever is available at the time...
In other symptomatic news, I have had minor bloody noses for the past three or four days in the morning. I think it's because our air conditioner finally works in the bedroom, so it's drying out my nasal passages, but I am sleeping a whole lot better since I'm not sweltering...is it worth the tradeoff? Perhaps. My lower back is also bothering me quite a bit, but I think that is mostly due to my sciatic nerve and carrying around Tay everywhere. She doesn't feel heavy to me, but I can feel the ache in my lower back after I've carried her for a while and set her down.
Another thing that has been on my mind lately is what Saint's name to give to little Riley since she will be baptized in the Catholic church shortly after she is born. I'm hoping that she will be able to be baptized while my parents are still here visiting after her birth. Some of my favorites with the September month association are Seraphia and Teresa, while Sophia is also one I like. Also, who can we ask to be a God-parent for her? Religion is increasingly important for me these days...I'm not exactly sure why...but I just feel the need for God's presence in our lives, and I want to raise our children with an awareness and understanding of God and His love for us.
Oooo...another improvement from last week is that my crazy sweets craving has subsided, mostly, so I'm not craving chocolate every minute of every day. :) I am satisfied with a piece of fruit or even a cherry tomato! Thank goodness. Maybe I can finally get this weight under control...ha ha...
Anyway, I got my fit-to-fly memorandum for our vacation! We fly on Saturday so I'm hoping for the best. I never flew so far into my pregnancy last time around, so this should be interesting. I hear I should walk a lot to prevent clots and swelling...I'll see what I can do. Also...will they let pregnant women take snacks on board?
The doctor's visit last Tuesday went about as expected. They told me I was gaining too much weight and told me I needed to go on a diet. Eh. Luckily, I am somewhat numbed to them saying it now, so it didn't have the effect it did the first few times. :P The baby has grown quite a bit since my last visit, too, though, so it's not just all me! Anyhow, I'm now sitting around 27 weeks according to the size of the baby, and they said it's about time for me to start doing exercises to make the baby turn. She's sitting in a breech position right now with her head snuggled up near my rib cage and constantly kicking my bladder. It's so strange to have so much information this pregnancy. I wouldn't have known if Tay was in a breech or otherwise position until at least week 36 or so...and probably wouldn't have worried about it. Now I'm doing daily exercises already to get this little one to turn...but I think there's still too much room in there for her to stay in the head-down position. A few times after the exercises, I'll feel her kicking up in my rib cage and think, oh, she's turned, but then later on that day, she'll be right back down by my bladder kicking away. Maybe I should just wait a few more weeks before trying to get her turned...in the mean time, she seems to be just fine rolling around in there however she feels like rolling.
I've also tried adjusting my diet a little, mostly snacking on grape/cherry tomatoes - my latest "craving" persay. It's hard trying to eat only healthy alternatives...for me, I think it's mostly portion control that I have issues with...and preventing myself from eating whatever is available at the time...
In other symptomatic news, I have had minor bloody noses for the past three or four days in the morning. I think it's because our air conditioner finally works in the bedroom, so it's drying out my nasal passages, but I am sleeping a whole lot better since I'm not sweltering...is it worth the tradeoff? Perhaps. My lower back is also bothering me quite a bit, but I think that is mostly due to my sciatic nerve and carrying around Tay everywhere. She doesn't feel heavy to me, but I can feel the ache in my lower back after I've carried her for a while and set her down.
Another thing that has been on my mind lately is what Saint's name to give to little Riley since she will be baptized in the Catholic church shortly after she is born. I'm hoping that she will be able to be baptized while my parents are still here visiting after her birth. Some of my favorites with the September month association are Seraphia and Teresa, while Sophia is also one I like. Also, who can we ask to be a God-parent for her? Religion is increasingly important for me these days...I'm not exactly sure why...but I just feel the need for God's presence in our lives, and I want to raise our children with an awareness and understanding of God and His love for us.
Oooo...another improvement from last week is that my crazy sweets craving has subsided, mostly, so I'm not craving chocolate every minute of every day. :) I am satisfied with a piece of fruit or even a cherry tomato! Thank goodness. Maybe I can finally get this weight under control...ha ha...
Anyway, I got my fit-to-fly memorandum for our vacation! We fly on Saturday so I'm hoping for the best. I never flew so far into my pregnancy last time around, so this should be interesting. I hear I should walk a lot to prevent clots and swelling...I'll see what I can do. Also...will they let pregnant women take snacks on board?
Friday, June 18, 2010
Lack of Sleep leads to Meltdowns...
...and even more sleep loss. But, I think I've got my job cut out for me for the next few weeks because after next week, we'll be traveling on vacation, so trying to set a routine when we're going to be someplace that had a 13-hour time difference will not make things easy. I am SOOOOOO looking forward to the vacation, though...it's much needed after the past few weeks of hormonal imbalance and meltdowns (both Tay and me, at least on the meltdowns). I really want some down time with the family outside of the bustling city that is Seoul...
In other happier (perhaps funnier) news, Tay has taken up a few funny sayings like, "Hey, GUYS! Come seeee this!" about whatever it is she happens to be doing, or "What're you dooooing, guys?" I'm not exactly sure where she picked up they "guys" phrase, but I assume it's from her playgroup or something because I don't hear Jeff or me saying that at all. She will also frequently point out that I have a baby in my belly, and sometimes she'll even remember that her name is Riley. Then, when I ask her what she has in her tummy, she'll say, "Food" in a very matter-of-fact tone. Obviously. She has also taken to asking other people what they have in their tummies...which can sometimes catch a few people off guard.
Many mornings lately have started way earlier than normal because she would wake up, and the first thing she would do is either call for Daddy or Mommy, and when one of us comes to see her, she'll ask for Dora or Diego. Well, this morning was a little different, but I think it's because her loss of sleep was catching up to her. I heard her rustling around in her bed around 6am, but I didn't hear her get up. She also didn't call for either of us. I lay there waiting until around 6:20 or so...still a little rustling here and there, but no getting out of bed or coming to our bed. So...I got up to start getting ready for the morning, expecting her to get out of bed then once she heard me get up, but she stayed in her bed, still rustling around and rolling back and forth from her stomach to her back and occasionally raising her foot to the ceiling and settling it back down again. I just snuck glipmpses at her in her bed as I got ready for the day. It was around 6:45 when I finally walked over to her bed to find her still lying there looking at the ceiling with her little leg raised. She looked at me and said, "Hi, Mama." I asked her, "How'd you sleep?" and she responded with a soft, "Good." Then, she rubbed her little eyes and stretched a bit and said to me in one big sigh, "Mommy, I tiiiiiiired." Hehehe...that's why she hadn't gotten out of bed or anything. She reached up her arms toward me with a pleading look of "please pick me up," which I couldn't resist, so I picked her up and she wrapped her little body around my ever-growing body. We picked out some clothes for the day, her still attached to me like a baby koala and we made our way to my bed to get her dressed. Looks like it might be a good day to start readjusting her sleep schedule...earlier bedtime, here we come! Hopefully...
I am so very glad it is the weekend. I'm looking forward to some down time and family time and a special Father's Day!
In other happier (perhaps funnier) news, Tay has taken up a few funny sayings like, "Hey, GUYS! Come seeee this!" about whatever it is she happens to be doing, or "What're you dooooing, guys?" I'm not exactly sure where she picked up they "guys" phrase, but I assume it's from her playgroup or something because I don't hear Jeff or me saying that at all. She will also frequently point out that I have a baby in my belly, and sometimes she'll even remember that her name is Riley. Then, when I ask her what she has in her tummy, she'll say, "Food" in a very matter-of-fact tone. Obviously. She has also taken to asking other people what they have in their tummies...which can sometimes catch a few people off guard.
Many mornings lately have started way earlier than normal because she would wake up, and the first thing she would do is either call for Daddy or Mommy, and when one of us comes to see her, she'll ask for Dora or Diego. Well, this morning was a little different, but I think it's because her loss of sleep was catching up to her. I heard her rustling around in her bed around 6am, but I didn't hear her get up. She also didn't call for either of us. I lay there waiting until around 6:20 or so...still a little rustling here and there, but no getting out of bed or coming to our bed. So...I got up to start getting ready for the morning, expecting her to get out of bed then once she heard me get up, but she stayed in her bed, still rustling around and rolling back and forth from her stomach to her back and occasionally raising her foot to the ceiling and settling it back down again. I just snuck glipmpses at her in her bed as I got ready for the day. It was around 6:45 when I finally walked over to her bed to find her still lying there looking at the ceiling with her little leg raised. She looked at me and said, "Hi, Mama." I asked her, "How'd you sleep?" and she responded with a soft, "Good." Then, she rubbed her little eyes and stretched a bit and said to me in one big sigh, "Mommy, I tiiiiiiired." Hehehe...that's why she hadn't gotten out of bed or anything. She reached up her arms toward me with a pleading look of "please pick me up," which I couldn't resist, so I picked her up and she wrapped her little body around my ever-growing body. We picked out some clothes for the day, her still attached to me like a baby koala and we made our way to my bed to get her dressed. Looks like it might be a good day to start readjusting her sleep schedule...earlier bedtime, here we come! Hopefully...
I am so very glad it is the weekend. I'm looking forward to some down time and family time and a special Father's Day!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Pregnant Beauty
Never during my first pregnancy did I ever think my pregnant body was...too fat or too ugly or too anything...except perfect. I can't say that I didn't have any of the typical pregnancy symptoms like breakouts and fat rolls and funny skin color changes, but NEVER have I ever felt "unattractive" because I knew my body was growing a beautiful human being inside of me and that she was healthy and I was healthy. It didn't matter that I gained weight every second I breathed and it didn't matter that I didn't stay under the recommended weight gain for a "healthy" pregnant woman...I still felt BEAUTIFUL and happy with my physical body...literally the entire pregnancy. I might not have been emotionally stable throughout it, much like this current pregnancy, but the emotional instability was more focused on what I was going to be doing in the future, what kind of mom I was going to be, if I'd be a good mom, etc. Not about my body image.
This pregnancy, I think 90% of my stress is coming from how "fat" I'm getting and how much I weigh. I stepped on the scale yesterday, to psychologically try and prepare myself for my next doctor's appointment tomorrow, and nearly fell over in shock at the number on the scale. Honestly, I probably weighed more than that with the first pregnancy at 25/26 weeks, but all I could hear in my head was, YOU ARE GAINING TOO MUCH WEIGHT, YOU ARE OVER OBESE, YOU NEED TO STOP EATING...
I keep telling myself I'll adjust my diet, eat less, no more sweets, etc...but constantly worrying about my weight is actually making me crave the sweets and unhealthy foods that I need to be avoiding! Why do I do this???
I don't feel "unhealthy." I did just jog a 5K fun run in 40 minutes and 45 seconds and felt fine (my leg muscles were sore for a couple days after). I do walk fairly frequently, although not the recommended three hours a day from my doctor. I never charted my weight gain the first time around, but for this pregnancy, I have been keeping track, somewhat, but not religiously like my doctor recommended (to ensure I gain only 11 pounds this prengancy, ha!). Sadly to say, I have already burst the bubble on those recommended eleven pounds, but I'm happy to report that I have been steadily gaining one to two pounds (most weeks, two pounds) throughout this second trimester. My understanding is that is an okay weight gain for someone who was in the normal weight range before I got pregnant. According to my current doctor, though, I started out my pregnancy as an obese person, so I was not supposed to gain the "normal" amount of weight for this pregnancy. Blah blah blah...so I weighed more than 100 pounds when I got pregnant. I'm not the "typical" Korean woman. Give me a break.
This next doctor's appointment will be my last with this doctor. I'll be transferring to the hospital where I am planning on having little Riley - the same hospital where I had Tay. And I'll even have the same doctor if everything goes as planned. Maybe they'll give me a break about my weight and just be happy for me that the little life growing inside of me is healthy and strong and that she will be just as lovely when she's born as my first angel was...:)
Tomorrow is my glucose screening...yay. More to follow after the test. Hopefully I'll have a better self-image by then...:P
This pregnancy, I think 90% of my stress is coming from how "fat" I'm getting and how much I weigh. I stepped on the scale yesterday, to psychologically try and prepare myself for my next doctor's appointment tomorrow, and nearly fell over in shock at the number on the scale. Honestly, I probably weighed more than that with the first pregnancy at 25/26 weeks, but all I could hear in my head was, YOU ARE GAINING TOO MUCH WEIGHT, YOU ARE OVER OBESE, YOU NEED TO STOP EATING...
I keep telling myself I'll adjust my diet, eat less, no more sweets, etc...but constantly worrying about my weight is actually making me crave the sweets and unhealthy foods that I need to be avoiding! Why do I do this???
I don't feel "unhealthy." I did just jog a 5K fun run in 40 minutes and 45 seconds and felt fine (my leg muscles were sore for a couple days after). I do walk fairly frequently, although not the recommended three hours a day from my doctor. I never charted my weight gain the first time around, but for this pregnancy, I have been keeping track, somewhat, but not religiously like my doctor recommended (to ensure I gain only 11 pounds this prengancy, ha!). Sadly to say, I have already burst the bubble on those recommended eleven pounds, but I'm happy to report that I have been steadily gaining one to two pounds (most weeks, two pounds) throughout this second trimester. My understanding is that is an okay weight gain for someone who was in the normal weight range before I got pregnant. According to my current doctor, though, I started out my pregnancy as an obese person, so I was not supposed to gain the "normal" amount of weight for this pregnancy. Blah blah blah...so I weighed more than 100 pounds when I got pregnant. I'm not the "typical" Korean woman. Give me a break.
This next doctor's appointment will be my last with this doctor. I'll be transferring to the hospital where I am planning on having little Riley - the same hospital where I had Tay. And I'll even have the same doctor if everything goes as planned. Maybe they'll give me a break about my weight and just be happy for me that the little life growing inside of me is healthy and strong and that she will be just as lovely when she's born as my first angel was...:)
Tomorrow is my glucose screening...yay. More to follow after the test. Hopefully I'll have a better self-image by then...:P
Monday, June 7, 2010
Rough Couple of Days...
Now, as much as I hate to admit publicly that my perfect little family has off days, I find writing theraputic, so I tend to write about it. Well, this past week has been a bit rough for all of us, but namely me because I have felt so...disconnected from the family / sad / anxious / stressed...you name it, I felt it. There was no particular incident or event that caused such emotions to build up, but I think the blame solely lies with my ever-fluctuating hormones with pregnancy. Jeff likes to remind me that I had "emotional" days similar to this week when I was pregnant with Tay, too, but I guess I just left those out of my writing because I went back through all my past pregnancy posts and didn't come across a single one. Moving on...
I think it was a combination of hormones, Tay catching a cold, hormones, not being able to sleep at night, hormones, back aches, and hormones that made everything seem just unbearable (things like Tay asserting her independence, Jeff letting her watch back-to-back Dora and Diego, work, etc.). Silly things that during a not-pregnant normal week, I would have just taken in stride or simply complained about, but with all of it coming together in this one week, it has felt overwhelming and I needed an outlet...so what did I do? I walked out of the house close to midnight, went to my car in the parking garage, locked myself in it and wept. Boo hoo hoo pitiful. But you know what? I felt much better after that. The next day was a little rough since my eyes were all swollen and puffy and I didn't get hardly any sleep, but by the end of the day, I started crawling out of my self-pity hole and passed out for some good sleep on the living room floor. :)
The next day was MUCH brighter and I could feel my energy coming back...thank goodness. My disconnected-ness from everyone seemed to fade and I feel somewhat back to normal again.
Let's hope I don't have any more of these weird week-long emotionally-off periods for the rest of this pregnancy...ugh.
I think it was a combination of hormones, Tay catching a cold, hormones, not being able to sleep at night, hormones, back aches, and hormones that made everything seem just unbearable (things like Tay asserting her independence, Jeff letting her watch back-to-back Dora and Diego, work, etc.). Silly things that during a not-pregnant normal week, I would have just taken in stride or simply complained about, but with all of it coming together in this one week, it has felt overwhelming and I needed an outlet...so what did I do? I walked out of the house close to midnight, went to my car in the parking garage, locked myself in it and wept. Boo hoo hoo pitiful. But you know what? I felt much better after that. The next day was a little rough since my eyes were all swollen and puffy and I didn't get hardly any sleep, but by the end of the day, I started crawling out of my self-pity hole and passed out for some good sleep on the living room floor. :)
The next day was MUCH brighter and I could feel my energy coming back...thank goodness. My disconnected-ness from everyone seemed to fade and I feel somewhat back to normal again.
Let's hope I don't have any more of these weird week-long emotionally-off periods for the rest of this pregnancy...ugh.
Overdue...post.
There have been a lot of thinking on my part about this pregnancy, but I haven't had the time or motivation to write it all down, so here I am trying to capture some of my thoughts after about a month's hiatus.
I am now around 24 weeks pregnant and feeling pretty good. Mostly I am tired from lack of sleep, but usually my pregnancy sleepiness hits around 1:30 or 2 and really makes me tired so I like taking a nap around then for an hour or two (or three...if I can get away with it).
As for some other symptoms, I have recently started having lower back pain and some of it I'm sure has to do with me carrying around Tay all the time still (she's now around 32 pounds!) but some of it is definitely sciatica pain that comes with pregnancy. I had some of it with Tay, too, so it's a familiar kind of pain...ugh. My hands and feet are also now constantly hot...which doesn't help at all now that the weather's also getting extremely hot, day and night. The fact that our AC units in our new apartment aren't functioning well also doesn't help...especially when I try to sleep at night. People have started saying that I just have this great pregnancy glow these past few days, but I think they are just mistaking my constantly sweaty skin for the "glow"...or maybe they're just trying to be nice. I am showing significantly in my belly, of course, and there also has been quite a bit of growth in my behind and cheeks as well. Welcome back, chipmunk cheeks. Will there be photos? Maybe. I haven't decided. I probably ought to get some taken of the belly at least for posterity. I feel huge already, and I am not looking forward to getting even more huge as the summer progresses, but what I AM looking forward to is seeing all my family in a few weeks at Calloway Gardens! I'm sure I'll be sweltering there, too, but at least I will just be relaxing and spending some fun time with family and friends on wonderful-looking resort grounds...:) Another thing I'm looking forward to...finding and buying some summer maternity clothes! There just isn't much selection here, and all my maternity clothes from when I was big with Tay are winter clothes since I had her in March!
Ah, another big development in the pregnancy is that we have decided on this little angel's name: Shinah Riley Ryals! Jeff and I had been talking about possible names for her for a while, and we finally agreed on Shinah, which means "beautiful faith" in Korean, and it is like her big sister's name in that Tay's first name is Shingil, which means "a path to faith" in Korean. Her middle name is just a name we had always both liked and we had contemplated between the names Riley and Raegan before choosing Riley. I'm not sure if it's normal to announce the decision of a baby's name already, but we did the same with Tay, so here it is. She will be called Shinah Riley Ryals.
Riley is quite the active one. We can already see her wiggling, jiggling, and kicking around in my belly...enough that you can see it from the outside. Tay felt her kick for the first time and now she refers to my belly as "the baby." She seems to be most active at night time right before I go to sleep, which doesn't help me fall asleep, but it's a nice way to drift off to sleep as I feel her kicking around in there. She doesn't seem to have a regular awake and sleeping period like Tay did, though, because most of her movement is sporadically throughout the day. She'll be really still for a bit, and then she'll be really active for about 10-15 minutes. Sometimes her movements will go on for almost an hour, at which point it feels like my insides have become all jumbled and I get a little nauseous...:)
My eating habits have not improved...I am trying to curb my appetite, but all I crave these days are sweets...and anything chocolate. Disturbing. I did have a hankering for watermelon, to which Jeff brought home a huge DELICIOUS watermelon. We've eaten half of it (perfect for this stifling weather, too!) and I imagine I'll prep the rest of it for eating tonight. I have also loved the taste and smell of cumin and chili powder as well as any and all kinds of salsa, so Mexican/southwestern dishes have been my foods of choice lately. Luckily, I found a GREAT and easy recipe on smittenkitchen.com for Southwestern pulled brisket, which I've already made two weeks in a row. Guess what's for dinner tonight? :) What I love best about it is that the prep takes about 20-30 minutes, and then you throw it all in a slow cooker for 8-10 hours (I usually do this overnight or prep it first thing in the morning) and dinner is ready for two-three days! The delicious smell that fills our house as it cooks is just...::sigh::...I love it...and so does the rest of the family, including Tay and Riley. Looks like it will be a staple at my house for a while.
My next doc appointment is scheduled for 15 June, and it will be for my glucose screening. Not looking forward to drinking the orange stuff, but hopefully all will be well and I will not be gestationally diebetic.
Ah, another thing to note that I didn't mention before is that I tried Zumba for the first time a couple weeks ago! It was a GREAT class and I felt absolutely ridiculous (mainly because I'm not super coordinated) and because gyrating hips and I don't get along so well, especially in public in front of giant mirrors...and with a giant belly. hahahaha...it provide much amusement, though, for me and everyone else in the room, I'm sure. :) Definitely want to go back, but need to find a class time I can make on a regular basis...I will definitely try and make that part of my post-baby routine, though - awesome workout.
I'm still debating whether or not I should merge this blog with the currently blog I keep for Tay...I like the separate blogs for now, and I think the entries may get too long if I merge them, but maybe in the future, I'll merge them to simplify...we'll see. If I feel motivated, I'll post some pictures of the bump and some of the ultrasound pics.
I am now around 24 weeks pregnant and feeling pretty good. Mostly I am tired from lack of sleep, but usually my pregnancy sleepiness hits around 1:30 or 2 and really makes me tired so I like taking a nap around then for an hour or two (or three...if I can get away with it).
As for some other symptoms, I have recently started having lower back pain and some of it I'm sure has to do with me carrying around Tay all the time still (she's now around 32 pounds!) but some of it is definitely sciatica pain that comes with pregnancy. I had some of it with Tay, too, so it's a familiar kind of pain...ugh. My hands and feet are also now constantly hot...which doesn't help at all now that the weather's also getting extremely hot, day and night. The fact that our AC units in our new apartment aren't functioning well also doesn't help...especially when I try to sleep at night. People have started saying that I just have this great pregnancy glow these past few days, but I think they are just mistaking my constantly sweaty skin for the "glow"...or maybe they're just trying to be nice. I am showing significantly in my belly, of course, and there also has been quite a bit of growth in my behind and cheeks as well. Welcome back, chipmunk cheeks. Will there be photos? Maybe. I haven't decided. I probably ought to get some taken of the belly at least for posterity. I feel huge already, and I am not looking forward to getting even more huge as the summer progresses, but what I AM looking forward to is seeing all my family in a few weeks at Calloway Gardens! I'm sure I'll be sweltering there, too, but at least I will just be relaxing and spending some fun time with family and friends on wonderful-looking resort grounds...:) Another thing I'm looking forward to...finding and buying some summer maternity clothes! There just isn't much selection here, and all my maternity clothes from when I was big with Tay are winter clothes since I had her in March!
Ah, another big development in the pregnancy is that we have decided on this little angel's name: Shinah Riley Ryals! Jeff and I had been talking about possible names for her for a while, and we finally agreed on Shinah, which means "beautiful faith" in Korean, and it is like her big sister's name in that Tay's first name is Shingil, which means "a path to faith" in Korean. Her middle name is just a name we had always both liked and we had contemplated between the names Riley and Raegan before choosing Riley. I'm not sure if it's normal to announce the decision of a baby's name already, but we did the same with Tay, so here it is. She will be called Shinah Riley Ryals.
Riley is quite the active one. We can already see her wiggling, jiggling, and kicking around in my belly...enough that you can see it from the outside. Tay felt her kick for the first time and now she refers to my belly as "the baby." She seems to be most active at night time right before I go to sleep, which doesn't help me fall asleep, but it's a nice way to drift off to sleep as I feel her kicking around in there. She doesn't seem to have a regular awake and sleeping period like Tay did, though, because most of her movement is sporadically throughout the day. She'll be really still for a bit, and then she'll be really active for about 10-15 minutes. Sometimes her movements will go on for almost an hour, at which point it feels like my insides have become all jumbled and I get a little nauseous...:)
My eating habits have not improved...I am trying to curb my appetite, but all I crave these days are sweets...and anything chocolate. Disturbing. I did have a hankering for watermelon, to which Jeff brought home a huge DELICIOUS watermelon. We've eaten half of it (perfect for this stifling weather, too!) and I imagine I'll prep the rest of it for eating tonight. I have also loved the taste and smell of cumin and chili powder as well as any and all kinds of salsa, so Mexican/southwestern dishes have been my foods of choice lately. Luckily, I found a GREAT and easy recipe on smittenkitchen.com for Southwestern pulled brisket, which I've already made two weeks in a row. Guess what's for dinner tonight? :) What I love best about it is that the prep takes about 20-30 minutes, and then you throw it all in a slow cooker for 8-10 hours (I usually do this overnight or prep it first thing in the morning) and dinner is ready for two-three days! The delicious smell that fills our house as it cooks is just...::sigh::...I love it...and so does the rest of the family, including Tay and Riley. Looks like it will be a staple at my house for a while.
My next doc appointment is scheduled for 15 June, and it will be for my glucose screening. Not looking forward to drinking the orange stuff, but hopefully all will be well and I will not be gestationally diebetic.
Ah, another thing to note that I didn't mention before is that I tried Zumba for the first time a couple weeks ago! It was a GREAT class and I felt absolutely ridiculous (mainly because I'm not super coordinated) and because gyrating hips and I don't get along so well, especially in public in front of giant mirrors...and with a giant belly. hahahaha...it provide much amusement, though, for me and everyone else in the room, I'm sure. :) Definitely want to go back, but need to find a class time I can make on a regular basis...I will definitely try and make that part of my post-baby routine, though - awesome workout.
I'm still debating whether or not I should merge this blog with the currently blog I keep for Tay...I like the separate blogs for now, and I think the entries may get too long if I merge them, but maybe in the future, I'll merge them to simplify...we'll see. If I feel motivated, I'll post some pictures of the bump and some of the ultrasound pics.
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