A Haircut, Family Game Night, Aquarium and the movies!

A lot has happened in the past two weeks since the last post, but I have been at a loss for words (maybe writer's block), so I haven't captured the special moments we have had.  I wanted to try and write them down at least today, just so I don't lose sight of the special-ness of these events. 

First, Tay got her very first haircut ever!  I can't remember for the life of me exactly what day (I'm pretty sure it was the 22nd), but I made an appointment for her and me at the salon I normally go with the lady who normally cuts my hair.  We talked it up for the next day, so she was quite excited about the event, telling everyone she met that she was going to get a haircut...and mommy, too.  On the day of our appointment, I picked her up after work, and we drove to the salon.  Daddy met us outside the salon, but he didn't bring a camera, so we don't have very good pictures from the event (only a couple taken with Jeff's cell phone), but at least we did capture the event for posterity.  I asked her if she wanted to go first or if she wanted me to go first, and she quickly replied, "Mommy first."  So she watched me sit in the chair, put on my robe, and get trimmed up.  Of course, I smiled and chatted with her the whole time as she sat with Appa, assuring her that it was a fun experience to get a haircut, so she would feel calm and ready.  Well, was she ready?  As J finished up my hair, she placed a large cushion on the chair next to mine in preparation for Tay's hair cut, and it was like Tay knew it was for her because she came running up to that chair saying, "My turn!  My turn!"  She climbed right up and sat down facing the mirror and got a serious look on her face as J placed the robe around her and tied it behind her neck.  She sat perfectly still, maintaining the stern look on her face with her mouth slightly open, as the lady began clipping her pretty little curls.  She did have a moment of smiling when J said she had really lovely hair...

At the end of her hair cut, we opted to give her bangs, to help keep the hair out of her face, and she just looks so adorable...like a little doll.  I haven't been able to get a picture of it to post yet, but as soon as we do, I will. 

This past Friday, Army Community Services held a Family Game Night at Collier Field House for all the community members on Yongsan.  We decided to take her for a change of pace to start off our weekend, not really knowing what to expect.  We invited the Cortezes along, for some familiar faces.  The event was a huge hit with the kids!  They had a huge toddler zone with plenty of playdough, stamps, puzzles, instruments, crayons and paper for the kids to go from station to station and get a kick out of playing with and around a bunch of other kids...it was like a huge playdate for the tots.  They also had games for the bigger kids and adults like Scrabble, Apples to Apples, Hungry Hungry Hippos, etc., so we let Tay have a hand at the Hungry Hippos, fishing, Tangegrams, and even Twister!  She was hilarious, but mostly just wanted to spin the dial...:)  We all left with a free game (Identic was what we got - choices were limited) and some free playdough.  She particularly enjoyed running all over the place and seeing all the little babies there...she also got to enjoy her first hot dog and had some pop corn and juice to close out the evening.  All in all, quite a successful event.

Saturday, we had planned a special breakfast as a new-to-us restaurant called the Flying Pan, but realized they didn't open until 10am...and we were up at 6:30, so that plan was a bust...so we just had homemade breakfast and opted to go to the 63 Building to visit their aquarium and the Sky Art museum.  The place was packed when we got there, but we got decent parking and we made our way to get tickets.  The aquarium was surprisingly large...I don't remember it being so large from going there when I was little, but it was definitely much nicer than I remember it.  Tay seemed to really enjoy herself...she got a kick out of the penguins and the huge sea turtle, as well as the very active otters that were running around and then hiding in their cave.  Jeff got a kick out of the dead-skin-eating fish tank where you could stick your fingers in and have them nibble at your fingertips.  No, thank you, for me.  Another odd event they had at the aquarium was a synchronized swimming performance by one lovely swimmer who jumped into a tank full of a variety of fish (to include a few sharks) and beautifully swam/danced to two songs...it was nice, but definitely very very strange.  Yes, she did kick the fish a couple times, but most of them knew to stay away from the tiny space in which she was swimming.  One larger shark and one of the larger fish kept swimming around the fish tank throughout the performance, but the rest of the fish awkwardly watched the show from one side or the other trying to swim to the other side and then turning back for fear of getting swatted or kicked.  Again, it was well executed, but definitely very strange.  Tay sat on my lap during the entire two-song performance, and seemed to enjoy it, but I think if it had gone to a third song, we probably would have gotten up and continued on with the aquarium. 

After we finished looking through the aquarium, we made our way to the Sky Art display on the 60th floor of the 63 Building.  The elevator ride was surprisingly smooth, and Tay seemed to enjoy the view.  When we got to the top, she was most interested in finding ice cream (we had talked about ice cream earlier as we left the aquarium), so we made our way through the art exhibit quickly and found ourselves some Dippin' Dots to share.  After that, we made our way downstairs for a quick bite to eat (for me) and then we left the building to get some real food at the Flying Pan restaurant. 

Tay ended up falling asleep in the car on the way to the Flying Pan and actually slept through the entire meal and more after we got home, but back to the meal.  ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.  I ordered the Grilled Banana French Toast and Jeff had the Flying Pan Breakfast...and we both could have licked our plates clean (although we did not).  The french toast was light and fluffy and in huge portions with just enough egg that it was moist, but not soggy.  The grilled bananas were perfection and not mushy or covered with syrup.  They served it with ricotta and fresh whipped cream...absolutely DELICIOUS.  Jeff's meal was more complicated, so I won't describe it all here, but I tried a couple bites of the pesto toast and the mushrooms and it was DELICIOUS.  I might even order it next time we go.  Which I hope will be very soon.  The space is very small, but their customer turnover it pretty quick, too, surprisingly.  We didn't have to wait but two or three minutes, and there was never an empty seat in the room, but there were always customers coming in.  I highly recommend it to anyone visiting or living in Korea - Itaewon, up the alley by Hamilton Hotel and Hard Rock.  Yes, it was a very late lunch time that we went (around 2pm), but it was still packed then...I wouldn't even know when to recommend going there, honestly...but just go.  I think they're open until 10pm.

Last, but not least, on Sunday we had breakfast with the Cortezes after church, and then after browsing arond the PX a bit, we went home.  After some laziness and a nap at home, we decided to take Tay to her first big movie theater to see The Princess and the Frog, since it was showing at the on-post theater (and it's free!).  I figured she'd last maybe 15 minutes to 30 minutes in there since she never really paid much attention to television shows, and she had never really watched a movie through at home either.  We got her some pop corn and some Raisinets with water and milk and sat down at the very front (because I didn't bring a cushion for her to sit on so she could see over the seat).  She didn't want to sit in her own seat, though, because the seat flipping up was bothering her, so she ended up sitting on my lap as the movie started.  As soon as the Disney castle came up, she turned and said to me, "Ooo...princess house!"  That made me smile that she was excited about that, and made me a little more hopeful for the movie.  As the movie started and the sound got a little louder, she was a little antsy, but she settled down as the movie continued.  Surprisingly enough, she got really into the story line of the movie, yelling at the screen to "RUUUUN!  RUUUUN!" when the frogs were being chased by the bad guys and then almost going to tears and yelling, "Noooo!  Noooo!" when some other bad guys caught the frog and took him away.  I was a little nervous that she'd be too scared of some of the parts of the movie, but she just tensed up and cuddled in a little closer to me during the scary parts and told me, "Scary," but made no move to leave.  She did get a little scared of the gators, but eventually, she called the main gator a "dinosaur" and liked that he played music.  At almost an hour and a half into the movie, she turned to me and said, "Umma, go home."  And then she turned to the screen and said, "Bye bye, froggy!" so Jeff and I turned to each other, shrugged and picked up our stuff and left.  I guess she was done with the movies for the day.  :) 

All in all, the past two weeks have been fun-filled and interesting for all parties involved.  :)  New experiences and fun...

Now begins Holy Week filled with exciting Easter events and lots of church...here's to a good week...

Gender Predictor Kit!

Well, my impatience in finding out the gender of this little one growing in my belly got so out of hand that I ordered an Intelligender Predictor Kit from target.com.  I first heard about it from my friend Sarah who had her little baby in the earliest part of this year, so I was intrigued to try it now as well.  Obviously it's not 100% accurate, but it wasn't too pricy and my curiosity won out, so I purchased one.  The test explains that you can take it from 10 weeks on, but when I hit 10 weeks, Jeff was still out of town, so I waited until now because I wanted a second opinion on the "color" of the sample.

You're supposed to use the first morning urine sample, so I happily collected that this morning (j/k) and followed their directions to include waiting 10 minutes before "reading" the color of the sample in the cup.  At 10 minutes, we both took a look at the color and I automatically said, DEFINITELY BOY, but then, Jeff had to confuse me and said there's a hint of orange in there (which could mean a girl).  So, Jeff's guessing girl and I'm guessing boy for now.

Who knows...it was fun to see what might come up anyway.  Of course, we'll not know for sure until we get the ultrasound (and of course that's not 100% either, but close enough), but for the time being, it's interesting (and a bit scary) to think I might have a little boy growing in there...how in the world do I raise a little boy???

Part of me still thinks it's going to be a little girl...but maybe I'll be one of the 85% that the gender predictor kit predicted properly...:)

We'll see.  Just hope you're doing well in there, little one.

Week 12 down; on with week 13!

Welcome, 2nd Trimester!

Today is the day my second trimester begins, and it has started off GREAT! I got very good sleep last night and woke up relatively refreshed this morning. For the first morning in a long time, I didn't feel nauseous, and I had this new energy to get ready for the day. Tay was surprisingly cooperative this morning getting ready, so we got some snacks for the day and we headed out the door with no fuss (minus a bit of jacket battle) and we were on the road before 8am! Amazing! I don't think I've done that for at least the past two months!

This might be sign of good things to come this trimester, and I definitely look forward to getting to know the little one growing inside of me a little better this trimester...

YAY!

Fun(ny) Evening with Tay

Yesterday after picking up Tay from Beth's, we decided to go for a walk to the local grocery store for some eggs and things since we were low on "dinner-making" materials. The weather was actually a bit windy, but the temperature was great, so we made an adventure of it...

We let our apartment complex and made our way down the street toward the large grocery around the corner. On our way, we got honked at by a few taxis who wanted to pick us up, but we were only going a few hundred meters, so why would we take a taxi? Anyhow, we strolled along and part way down the street, she wanted me to pick her up and carry her. Well, I carried her for a bit, and then put her down again to walk. She held my hand and we walked along a vendor-filled street with little old ladies chatting on the curb and selling fruit and other things. Tay just looked all around her at the giant baskets of chestnuts and oranges, tiny cherry tomatoes in crates, and large clear bags of apples and persimmons. We finally made it to the store and she sat content in the cart as I pushed her around the store picking up various items for dinner and snacks for later. She did tell me to get some chicken and some rice cakes, and we couldn't forget the eggs (we've been out of eggs for a few days now). We picked up a few other items and made our way to the checkout line. She was so helpful from inside the cart putting the smaller items on the belt. :) She asked me for help on the bigger items because she couldn't get them quite over the side of the cart from her sitting position onto the belt. Even the ladies at the checkout counter couldn't get enough of how helpful and sweet she was being...:)

On our walk back, we made a quick stop at a little vendor selling "boong-uh-bbang" (sweet bean filled fish-shaped cakes) and picked up a few for dessert. While we're walking along, Tay turned to me and asked me to carry her again...so I waddled a few steps carrying her and the groceries and then I put her down and explained to her that I couldn't carry her because the groceries were too heavy to carry with her. What does my little angel do? She offers to carry the "boong-uh-bbang" herself, and when I hand her the little bag, she asks, "Better now?" in an ever so sweet voice with her head cocked to the side...hehehehe...:) Then she held my hand and we walked the entire way back up the hill to our house. When I asked her where our house was from about 100 meters out, she points to our apartment complex and goes, "WAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over there...faaaar." Hehehe...I guess to a two-year-old, that can seem pretty far...:) Anyhow, we made it safely back to our house without any injuries or incidents, so we were happy about that...and then it was time to wash up and prepare dinner.

I prepared o-deng (fish cake) soup, some rice, mini-sausages, and a couple sides (cucumber kimchee and moo-mal-lengee). She really liked the mini-sausages so she ate all hers on her plate before touching anything else. Then, she looked at me with a bit of a sad face and said, "my sausage aaaaaall gone. Eat Umma's?" Well, I had a few more on my plate, but I wanted her to eat the rest of her food first before I gave her any more, so I told her to try some of her other food, too. She ate most of her rice and tried a bite of her o-deng I cut up on her plate. She cautiously took a bite, and then with an excited look on her face, she said, "Dduk!" (Rice cake!) She thought the fish cake was rice cake (her favorite)...probably because the consistency is about the same. Anyhow, it was a big hit, so she ate the rest of what was on her plate and asked for a couple more before she was full. Then, I shared some of my sausages and she also wanted to try some of the moo-mal-lengee (a spicy marinated version of dehydrated Korean turnip)...I explained to her that it was spicy, but she still wanted to try it, so I gave her a small piece...and as soon as she got it in her mouth, so pops up both thumbs and says, "GOOD!" Hehehehe...so funny. Then, of course, she says, "Picy!" and asks for some water. After her sips of water, she asks for more, so I gave her another small piece and again, both thumbs up and another, "Good!" Why is my daughter so silly...:) After a few more iterations of this, we were ready for dessert.

I took out the boong-uh-bbang, told her to close her eyes for a surprise (which she LOVES), and I told her to bite. She took a cautious bite, and opened her eyes and I get another thumbs up with "GOOD!" I enjoy that my little girl has the same taste buds as her mama. :)

Since I started taking prenatal vitamins, she's been very curious about vitamins, so I got her some Flintstones vitamins so she could join in on the fun. Well, she's funny because she does actually like her vitamins a lot, but she knows I don't like taking my vitamins...so in her effort to empathize with me, this is our conversation every evening as we take our vitamins:

Tay: Umma vi-amins bad?
Me: Neh. Umma's vitamins taste bad.
Tay: My vi-amins bad, too.
Me: Really? But we still have to take our vitamins because it's good for us.
Tay: Neh. Really. Eat, too.
Me: I'm going to drink some water.
Tay: Neh. Drink water. Better now?
Me: Neh. Better now.
Tay: Good.

After all that, we decided to get into the tub and get cleaned up for the evening, read a few books, and we both were out like lights by 8:30pm! A GREAT NIGHT!

11/12 week Doc Appointment

Today was the 11/12 week doctor's appointment for the little one growing in my belly. It was actually quite an exciting visit because I got there about 30 minutes earlier than my scheduled appointment time by accident, so the technician decided to see me a little earlier so she could let me see the little one via sonogram/ultrasound a bit longer.

First, she did the official measurments like the Crown-rum length, which was 5.9 cm (which means the baby is approximately at 12/13 weeks gestation) and the Nuchal translucency, which was 1.0mm (a good sign because normal is less than 3mm). Then, she just showed me around in there...like, the little one's face, arms and legs, some movement (I don't think it liked being pushed around in such a small space) and the spine. It was sitting with its head resting on its hand like the thinker, and it was sitting in a cross-legged position. :) Very cute...

And then...I got another special treat...she turned on the 3D ultrasound and showed me some amazing shots of the baby in 3D! Incredible that they could do that so early on in the pregnancy, but she didn't charge me any extra to see it! I felt so lucky...she even recorded some of the movement for me on a video clip and gave it to me on a disc, so when I figure out how to access it, I'll be sure to share...I know you all want to see. :) It's truly amazing, the capability these days. The little one's heart rate stayed pretty high at 158 beats per minute during this visit.

I keep wanting to call this little one a "she," and I think it's because I feel like it's a little girl in there, I guess we'll find out in a few more weeks, hopefully.

The doc says the baby's growing well and looking healthy, so my next visit will be another month from now. I hope between now and then, I lose the nausea and start gaining some energy back...man, this cold and exhaustion is really...tiring! :)

It was very refreshing to see that the little one's growing so well in there, though...it already looks pretty cramped, though, so maybe I should start wearing stretchier pants to give it more room...

I'm looking forward to the first fetal movement...:) yay...

Sudden Popos...

My Tay suddenly woke up just a few minutes ago and called for me so I ran in, and she still had her eyes closed. I lay down next to her and told her I was there, and she turned toward me and said what I thought was poo-poo, but when I asked her if she needed to go potty, she said no, and repeated "po-po!" Then she grabbed my cheeks with both hands and kissed me three times on the lips and then turned over and went back to sleep. All this with her eyes still closed...

Must have been an interesting dream...:) Sweet girl...

A Rough Couple of Days...

Well, I guess as the end of my first trimester is going to end with some bang because I caught a little cold and the last few days have been...let's just say...not pretty.

I remember having a cold when I was pregnant with Tay, but this cold was out of the ordinary in that for a whole day, I couldn't eat ANYTHING without it coming back out only minutes or hours later. It must have been a combination of the bug I had and morning sickness because Tay didn't have any of the "refusal of food" like I did...thank goodness for that. I mean, I couldn't eat anything - not crackers, not dried toast, not fruit, not ANYTHING. My stomach wasn't going to take it. My mom says it also might be due to some underlying stressing I'm feeling...and she may be right. Being pregnant, sick, and having a husband gone away on business is pretty stressful...I guess. At least Tay was as sweet as can be and tried her best not to stress me out...:)

Dear new little Angel,

I hope you aren't too hurt by all my sickness these past couple days...I did lose a few pounds, which my doctor might be happy about, but I can't seem to hold down any prenatal vitamins either, so I really need to eat better to ensure I'm getting you the vitamins and minerals you need! I want you to be as healthy as your big sister, you know. I look forward to seeing you in there on Thursday at our next appointment. Hope you are well...

Love,
Umma

A cold, an ice museum, and two years...

Last week, my sweet Tay started coughing a bit...a small cough a couple times during the day, but I didn't think much of it. Then, it progressed to a full-blown cold with a horrible-sounding cough and a stuffy/runny nose, but luckily, no fever or other symptoms (other than a bit of crankiness) so I wasn't too worried. Lucky me, I decided to catch whatever bug she got, though, so I followed suit with the bit of coughing and then runny nose, but I had a bit more severe symptoms, probably due to the fact that I'm pregnant and still in my first trimester.

Anyhow, before our symptoms got really bad, we had scheduled a trip with some friends to the local Ice Gallery near Insadong. We were all really excited about the outing, especially since we had the Armed Forces Network coming to film the place on the same day. What we didn't know was that they'd be mic-ing us up through the entire visit and shooting us, and then interviewing us there about our "experience" about the "art" there...eep. The clip is supposed to be made public sometime in April, so when it does come out, I'll be sure to let everyone know about it or share the link to it (as long as I don't look totally ridiculous). :)

The ice gallery was really cool, though...we got to see a lot of very interesting structures all built out of ice. Tay's favorite part was probably the ice slide...she went down that thing multiple times! You'd think her little tush would have frozen to the slide... My favorite part was probably seeing the Eiffle Tower and the Statue of Liberty built out of ice. The Leaning Tower of Pisa was pretty cool, too. They even had an ice bathroom made up complete with a bathtub, sink, and toilet! Tay was none too fond of that, though...I wish I could have gotten a picture of that! I also laid her down momentarily on the ice bed, but she didn't like that too much either.


After we wandered through the ice gallery and froze our little noses off and we came out to thaw out, they had a large hunk of ice sitting out in the middle of the room. The ice sculpter then went up to the piece of ice with a chain saw and started chopping at the ice...soon we saw some letters carved up with a star just like the AFN logo! He did it all in a matter of minutes! It was truly amazing! I couldn't take the video because my hands were tied holding Tay, but I think Beth got the whole thing!


After that, they also gave us a cup-making demonstration! We also got to try our hand at making our own ice cups...let's just say it was not a pretty sight, but we all had a great time doing it, and at the end of the day, we each got to drink a little Fanta out of our ice cups! Again, I didn't get any pictures of that with my camera, but I'm sure someone did, so when I get my hands on those pics, I'll be sure to post them. :) The AFN crew also filmed a bit of the "hacking" of our cups, so we might see some footage of that later as well. Tay's favorite part of the cup-making was sucking on the huge chunks of ice (like the handle I chopped off my cup).


Tomorrow, my little baby girl turns TWO years old! I know we've already had her little birthday party and everything, but tomorrow is the day that she actually turns TWO! I still can't believe that two years ago today, she was still squirming around in my belly, and that two years ago tomorrow was the first day I ever set eyes on the most beautiful sight in the whole world...my Shingil Taylor Ryals. She has changed our whole lives so much for the better...I just can't fathom my life without her! She has become the center of our world, and we often wonder how much this new little being growing in my belly will impact and grow our family. I know she will make a wonderful big sister, but I wonder how I can keep nurturing her and loving her enough so that she continues to become the wonderful human being that she is already becoming.

As of late, she has really fallen in love with reading, and perhaps it's because I've been so sick lately, but whenever we come home after I pick her up from Beth's, we play a bit in her room and then she picks out a book and sits beside me or on my lap and we read and read and read. When we finish with one book, she goes and picks out another one. Then another. Then another. I probably read about 20 books every evening to her before our bedtime routine starts! What I love about that is that she really pays attention and the parts that she knows, she'll read right along with me! Some of her favorites lately have been "One Apple Up On top," "One Fish, Two Fish," "We're Going on a Bear Hunt," a couple Elmo books, quite a few Korean books, "Daddy Hugs," a few song books, and many more. I also love that our bedtime routine is really set. We take a bath, brush our teeth, dry off and lotion up, get in PJ's, get a sip of milk and/or water, cuddle up in bed to read three books (her picks lately have been Max & Ruby books), lights out, pray together, and then she kisses me good night and rolls over to fall asleep. It's amazing how quickly she falls asleep now without me patting her or singing to her or anything. I thought the days of rocking her to sleep would never go away, but gone they are...I guess it's a good thing. I can't be rocking her to sleep with a giant belly...

It's like my baby girl is transitioning into a young lady all on her own...sometimes I wish it would all slow down and she could be that little baby I held in my arms two years ago. I love the little lady she is becoming, though...and I especially love that I can communicate with her, too...and I can understand her and she can understand me...most of the time. :) She is definitely an amazing girl and I look forward to the day that I can tell her so and have her fully comprehend what I mean when I say that she is truly AMAZING.

Morning Tears...

This was the first morning in a long time that there were tears when I dropped off Tay at Beth's. She didn't want me to leave...she wanted me to stay and play with her. From the moment we left our house, she wanted me to stay with her. When I buckled her into her car seat, she grabbed my finger and kept pulling me back into the car after I kissed her for another kiss...and then another. Until I told her I had to drive so we could go to Tita's. Her big brown eyes welled up with tears and she yelled, "Nooo, Umma...stay..." so I took her hand again and she pulled me in for another kiss...::sigh:: After a few more times of that, I eventually made my way to the driver's seat to get on our way...leaving a little tear trail down my baby girl's cheek...::sigh::

She and I chatted on our drive to Beth's and she seemed to be doing much better...

When we made it to Beth's and we went up the elevator to her house, she wanted me to hold her the whole way...so I carried her to the door and we knocked. When Beth opened the door and reached for Tay, she pulled away and said, "No, Umma." She just wanted to stay with me today. After some persuading, I asked her if she would walk me to the elevator. She said, "Neh," and took my hand and Beth's hand and we walked to the elevator...

When the elevator door opened, she slowly let go of my hand, but when I walked into the elevator, she started crying, "No, no, no, Umma, no, Umma..." and as the elevator doors closed, all I could see were tears streaming down my little girl's face and hear her yelling for me...

I know all of that stopped in a matter of minutes after I was gone, but a morning like today just breaks my heart and really makes me question my decision to keep working...

A turn for the better...

I think I've made a turn toward the good trimester this week concerning the nausea. Luckily, my constant nauseousness is passing and I'm feeling pretty good throughout the day. The fatigue is still sticking around, though, so I'm sleeping crazy hours at night it seems, but I am also waking every couple hours to make trips to the bathroom, so that's not helping the "rest" as a whole, I think.

I am now at 10 weeks and one day, according to the pregnancy calendar, and in less than two weeks, I'll have my next doctor's appointment. Perhaps by then, my little one will be moving around in there...

These next few weeks feel like they'll be very long with Jeff being gone to Daegu, but Tay is being sweet for the most part so it's still going smoothly. My belly already looks like I did when I was about five months pregnant with Tay, so I'm a little upset about that, but I guess that's expected of a second baby...or so they tell me. So far, I've put on 5 pounds, and according to Korean standards, that's WAY too much (over obese, apparently), but by American standards, I'm doing okay with a 3-5 pound gain in the first trimester.

So...when does my first trimester actually end, anyway? Some books and websites say at 10 weeks, and other say at 12 weeks...so which is it?

One Hour Late...

This morning, I was an hour late to work...

Why? Because my little girl needed some Umma-time.

I woke up around 7:30 this morning, so I jumped outta bed and got ready, but as I was getting ready, Tay sat up in bed and watched me quietly until I noticed her sitting up in bed, and so I acted really surprised when I saw her. She thought that was just silly, so she giggled and collapsed back on her pillow. I told her good morning and asked her how she slept as I finished up getting ready, and she sat back up and said, "Good. No Tita. Stay Umma me," and then collapsed back into a little heap on her pillow.

Lump.

At that moment, I leapt into bed and curled up next to her and she turned to kiss me on the nose and cuddle with me. We just lay there cuddled up for a few minutes chatting and giggling until eventually we made our way to her room to change out of her pjs. From there she told me she had to go potty, so we did that successfully and got her dressed for the day. Again, she stopped as we put her socks on and looked right in my eyes and said, "No Tita now. Stay Umma me."

Lump.

I guess she can sense my hurried-ness in the mornings that I'm running late, so she is trying to slow me down and spend some quality time with her. I needed that check this morning because we had had a really great day together yesterday, even though we had to say good bye to Appa for a few weeks while he went away for exercise. We drove down to Pyeongtaek to visit my brother and our friends the Lees, and we had a great visit and even had fun through the three hours of traffic. Even the drive back was sweet and funny and she fell asleep in the car. I guess she wanted a little more of that quality time before we started another harried week of work and scheduled activities...

I just hugged her tight and told her I had to go get her raincoat since it was raining outside today. As I walked out, she called to me and said, "Umma, come here. Play me." I grabbed her coat and came back into her room where she had taken out one of her puzzles. She asked me to sit down "right here" on her bed and watch her as she put the puzzle pieces back in their places. I just sat and watched her and praised her for her successes...smiling and not worrying about the time. Just enjoying my sweet little girl...

After playing a while, we were both getting a grumbling stomach, so I wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a couple bagels. I asked Tay if she wanted one, and she said, "Neh." I knew this was going to be the opportunity to get out the door (why can't I just stay in the moment and enjoy spending time with my little girl???) so I asked her to put on her coat and shoes and we'd have our bagels in the car. She said, "Neh" and did as I asked. I got our stuff, put on my own coat and shoes and I handed her a bagel. She politely said, "ant-tu" (thank you), and held my hand as we made our way down the elevator to the car. We got all buckled in and off we went to Tita's.

As we drove into Hannam backgate, she was quietly eating her bagel. As we made our turn at the stop sign to Tita's apartment complex, Tay said, "Umma, no Tita now. Me stay Umma. Umma me."

Lump...my eyes became blurry... ... ...

At that point, I should have just turned around and driven home, called in sick, and stayed home to play with my baby girl...

Instead, I told her I would come get her really soon and we could play after she played with Tita for a while. She just sat quietly the rest of the way and ate her bagel. The lump in my throat never went away...

When we got to the door, I got out of the car to carry her up to Beth's and when I opened the door to her side to get her out, the wind was blowing so badly, her blanket came flying out of the car! She grabbed a hold of me as I held her and chased the blanket down, and we hurried inside so as not to get blown away by the wind and rain/snow mix! When we got inside, I set her down and we walked up the ramp to the elevator, and she was chanting, "Tita, Tita, Tita," so I felt a little better.

I know she has a great time at Beth's while she's there, so I am not worried at all that she'll miss me during the day, but on mornings like this one where she just wants to spend a little more time with me, it makes me question my decision to work instead of being the best stay-at-home mom I could be...

Have I made the right choice?