Perhaps I was in denial, but I always had the secret hope in my mind that my relationship that is so sweet and loving with my daughter would never fade and that I would never get my feelings hurt by a 2-year-old. Well, perhaps I am right that the relationship won't fade, but it is definitely changing and in transition from my snuggly little girl into an independent girl who wants to grow her individuality and assert her opinions. I got my feelings hurt this morning when she woke up and she called out...she didn't specify who she wanted at first, so I went to her bed and started to lie down next to her and instead of her usual, "Hi, Umma," I got a quick shove and a, "NO! I don't want you! Daaaaddy!" From that moment, the entire morning was denying everything and anything I asked her, to include getting dressed and getting out the door. Of course, Jeff's just eating this stuff up...:P So...I've already lost her to Daddy...so when do I get her back? Of course, I've had other moments similar to this where she only wanted Daddy or her Tita to do whatever was originally asked, but why did my feelings get hurt this morning? Because at least in the morning, she lets me hug her or something to say good morning...not an immediate, NO! Sadly, I'm sure other parents will assure me, that I've got many more of these moments ahead of me and many (and far more emotionally painful) battles to fight with my little girls, but the question is...can I handle them? And the tougher question is...how much have I hurt my own Mom's feelings? A countless number, I'm sure...
I guess it's true what they say about how the ones you love the most can also hurt you the most. All you can do is just keep loving them more until they come to love you back. That's just what you do with family...
Well, when we finally did get out the door this morning, as we were leaving, Tay took my hand and said, "Come on, Mommy. We go to Tita's now." The girl is a creature of habit. When we got to Tita's, I handed her off, and that's when she reached for me for the first time all morning and with a sheepish little grin on her face, she said, "Mama, mama" like she used to when she was a little baby. I gave her a hug and she squeezed me tight and gave me a big kiss. As they headed up to the apartment and I to my car, she looked back at me and yelled, "I love you!" I yelled back, "I love you, too!" and smiled as I got in my car. Children just have no idea how much they can toy with a parent's emotions...
Tay is getting so grown up. It's still amazing to me that since her transition to her twin bed last month (23 May), she has yet to come sleep in our bed again...not even in the middle of the night or in the morning. She's completely potty trained during the day, even when we go to the pool! I'm still trying to think of the best method of nighttime potty training, but I think I'll wait on that until after the sibling arrives. She pretty much feeds herself as long as I prepare her food in reasonably sized pieces so she can eat whatever she gets on her spoon or fork or chopsticks in one bite. She loves kimchee! She'll sit and read books to her "babies" when she's not busy cooking in her play kitchen or dancing around the house singing "SUNNY DAY!" or "Reach to the sky like you're climbing a rope!" Tay's so very talkative...she chatters on non-stop about various thoughts that come to mind, and one of the funniest things she does is to go and pick up her play phone and have a full conversation with someone on the other line about various subjects she remembers. For example, she had played over at a friend's house the other day and she left two of her play cups there. She called him up on her play phone the next day and this is how the conversation went: "Hi, ---. How aaare you?" Pause. "I'm fine, thank you." Pause. "How are you dooooing?" Pause. "Can I come over? I need a get my cups. I leff dem at yoooou house. I neeeeed dem." Pause. "You eeeeating?" Pause. "Okay. Love you. Bye! Mmmwah." (This is how she ends almost all of her phone conversations). Jeff and I just listened to the whole conversation in amazement that she even remembered that she left those cups at her friend's house.
Tay has also been very curious what people's names are. If anyone addresses her or talks to one of us (adults), she always in turn asks, "Who's daaaat?" and when we tell her we don't know, then she'll say, "I ask. What's yooou name?" She recently started calling people her "friends," too...which is really cute. At the playground a couple days ago, she was climbing up something and these two other girls just a tad older than her, I think, were climbing up the structure as well. One of them lightly stepped on Tay's finger, and immediately stopped and said sorry and kissed her finger. Tay gave the little girl her other hand to kiss, too! The little girl did so, and then they went on climbing and playing and when the other two little girls ran somewhere else to go play, Tay came up to me and said, "Where my friends go?"
Her imagination must just be going 100-miles a minute because the other day, she also told me to come sit in her house (her play area) because it was "dinnuh time." I sat there at her little table, curious to see what she would bring me. She carried over a little pot with something rattling around in side and I asked her what it was. She told me, "Don't touch it yet. It's hooooot. I blow it for you." I asked her again what it was, and she opened the pot and said, "(M)ushroom soup," and when I looked inside her pot, there was one mushroom topping piece from her pizza game! Hilarious.
On another note, not that this entry isn't long enough already, we have started Tay with somewhat regular "swim" lessons. Private lessons for the time being until we can find some folks who might want to do lessons together. Tay tends to pay attention beter (oddly enough) when there are other kids around and she seems to learn faster. She's already pretty comfortable in the water and she's perfectly happy putting her face in the water, blowing bubbles, kicking and flailing her arms, so I think we'll have her making her way around the pool pretty soon. What I'm happy with is that after the first lesson, she learned how to get into a pool safely holding onto the side, and she is much more comfortable with lying on her back with assistance in the water whereas before, she really did NOT like going on her back in the water at all. When we took her swimming yesterday, she happily stretched out on her back with her head on my shoulder and made the T-shape like she was taught. I love that she loves the water...it's going to be a fun summer. :)
This coming weekend we fly to the states for some much needed vacation time with the family. It will be great to see the extended family and enjoy some good outdoor fun. Definitely looking forward to relaxing and reconnecting...looking for some rejuvination before the final trimester...:)
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