Writing Inspiration

I know I normally don't write anything except on Sundays just for the weekly wrap-up.  I'm also working on trying to reign in my "social media" addiction and "need" for attention in this way...so why am I writing again?  I want to share the heart of my daughter...one who is so filled with love that she wrote a book.  Her 5-year-old understanding of what Love means...and she wrote it for her best friend at Kindergarten.  I know the little boy won't care, and she doesn't like him like a "boyfriend" or a "crush"...but they're just best buddies.  And she really wants him to know that she enjoys spending time with him.  I want to be more like her.  So first, let me share her book.  I'll translate a bit under each page to ensure you understand exactly what she is saying.  This book began the day after Gabriel came over to play at our house with his mom.  Tay asked me to staple some papers together for her so she could make a book.  She has asked me this before, and she usually draws some pictures in it or uses it like a "doctor's notebook" and she'll scribble all over it like she's taking notes.  Anyhow, I made it for her and she took it upstairs to her "study room."  After that, I forgot all about it...until today, when she showed it to me to ask me if I could understand what it said.  Here goes:

["Welcome to the book of Love"]

[Written by Shingil]

[The Starting]

 [Love is not about going to get flowers]

 [Love is showing your friends that you care]

 [Oh, and even if you make art, it still isn't Love]

 [Oh, and here is a picture]

 [Oh, and Gabriel, I hope that you can come again. Oh, and the other page will have just a picture.]

This little girl wrote this all on her own...over the course of about five days.

I know that to the rest of the world, this may seem like a "crush" or something, but I've seen this girl have a major crush on a couple boys already, and this is not the same.  She would have written this for her best friend in Korea (Shiri) or her first friend ever (Aiden) if she could write at the time.  She genuinely enjoys playing with this little boy and has such a sweet friendship with him.  I admire the friendship she has with other children and the heart she has to so bravely share her feelings without worry or concern that they might not like her back.  

I know I've mentioned before that I would eventually write a post on my own experience with "friendships"...and my difficulties with making and maintaining them.  I don't know if my brain is just wired strangely, but I have always lived a very "lonely" and "anti-social" life.  The only times I really ever made "friends" was when I was participating in a group (like choir or band) or some other activity.  My nature is to "avoid conflict" so there rarely was a person I didn't get along with...but it was always hard to become very close friends with anyone.  I've always had people as I was growing up that I considered my "best" friends, but I know for certain that these friends all had other "best" friends that were not me.  That bothered me a little, but I knew I could never be the kind of "best" friend that person needed all the time.  Also, as I grew up a bit, I realized that there were certain people that I was really drawn to...really felt a need to get to know them.  It was as if I instantly liked them from the moment I met them...or even before I actually met them (in this world of internet introductions).

So I got interrupted due to a waking baby, so I had to leave off for the night and now I've lost my train of thought, so I guess I'll have to get back to explaining my anti-social behavior later.

I do want to say before ending this segment, I am very proud of my daughter and her ability to express herself with the written word now (and drawings).  I love that she so genuinely wants to express herself and her feelings - I hope I can encourage that instead of squashing it as she grows into the moody teenage years (and keep the communication lines open between her and me). I hope the friends that I do have (and hold very dear to my heart) understand when I am absent in so many ways...that I do think of them often and although I show so little "action," I think of them often and am trying to be more "active" in "showing my friends that I care."