Random thoughts at bedtime...

There have been many thoughts running through my mind as sleep evades me...

Just some quick thoughts before I sleep:

*As I adjust to life as a stay-at-home mom, I find it to be much more difficult than working, and many times less "rewarding" in the normal sense, but to see my girls develop and grow in this rich new environment will be worth it in the long run.  I must get myself adjusted to this new lifestyle...new routine (I must create a routine first!) and figure out how to be a full-time mother to these girls.

*I find that when I lack rest, my patience grows very short and little things can trigger me to be very angry, and I hear myself turning into a "yeller."  I shout with the intent to cause fear to force obedience...not what I should be doing as a mother of three beautiful, free-spirited ladies.  When I do this, I feel so terrible after that I give myself a timeout (with the baby) and let the older two watch television.  Ugh...not an ideal scenario, but I find that when I do get about five minutes to just lie next to the baby (see her smile and coo) and relax a bit, I can recollect my thoughts, calm down, then apologize to the girls for yelling.  Then, we are able to continue the day on a better note.  I think once the girls start kindergarten in September and we get into a good routine (and I make it a priority to get my rest), this "yeller" in me will disappear.

*Prayer has been a priority to me lately.  One of my resolutions this year was to incorporate a consistent prayer life into our family.  I have been fortunate to have had success with prayers before meals and prayers at bedtime with the common, easy prayers for the girls to learn.  Now that we are beyond half the year, I have added a couple elements to our bedtime prayers.  After we pray the common prayer "Now I lay me down to sleep...", Tay and I each say "God bless _____" and "Thank you God for _____" to help us remember others each night as well.  Just last week, we added one more piece to our nightly prayers:  "Forgive me God for _____"  I let Tay pray this one silently if she doesn't feel ready to say something out loud, but it has added a new depth to our evenings and I look forward to her maturing in her prayer life as she prepares for First Communion in the next few years.

Enough for tonight...I leave you with a beautiful little smile:

Gute Nacht!